When I run after you, you’re so much faster than me,
Is it just me… Is that the reason why you flee?
When I look, you can’t be found…
When I listen, you don’t make a sound
When I call, you never answer …
Will this be just for now or forever?
When I find you, will you really be there?
It would be too much for me to fair.
There are things I want you to know,
Do you know how tall I am, oh gosh how I grow!
Do you remember what I look like?
Do you remember promising me that you would teach me how to ride a bike…?
I still don’t know… I was waiting for you…
But now the memories hurt to bad…
Do you know I think about you?
When everyone else is asleep.
It just is sad.
Do you know,
I have no idea what you look like.
It was only a few years ago I saw you
For five minutes
While brother got into your car to go to your home.
I think I may have repressed you.
The hurt it raw though.
People often think
That I am strange
But that is so I don’t get as badly hurt as I did with you.
That hurts almost more than anything else.
You’re meant to be the one
Who helps me mend my broken hearts.
After false friends.
After boyfriends gone astray.
You’re the reason why I can’t get close to anyone.
To even become friends with.
I am now a shell of the little girl you once knew.
I blame you for my pain.
But remember what you used to tell brother: “There’s no one to blame but yourself.”
Do you know what I wish for, daddy?
I wish I could feel nothing for you.
I wish I could hate you.
I wish I could properly you.
I wish… you would just look at me and recognize me.
I wish I didn’t love you.
It would make my life so much easier.
I tell you what else would make it so much easier and better as well?
If I knew you actually returned that love.