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 Luminosity
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Passions in Poetry

Luminosity

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UNTAMEDelegance
Member
since 05-30-2009
Posts 224
Oregon


0 posted 05-26-2010 09:20 PM       View Profile for UNTAMEDelegance   Email UNTAMEDelegance   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for UNTAMEDelegance

More light than I have ever seen.
A wave; a wall.
Sweeping my senses;
overwhelming.
Taking me over.
Pure white.
Ambrosia
to my eyes
as the light
consumes.
Color begins to seep into
my world.
Oozing like paint-drips;
slowly,
       slowly,
              tantalizing,
                          stilting,
d
o
w
n.

Never have I seen
such beauty.
Pure light;
liquid euphoria;
good incarnate.

Never have I seen
such grace.
Dancing;
lilting through shadows;
skimming 'cross air;
flitting through
my mind.

Ever have I been
drawn;
lured by the
silken, effulgent
promises
of light.

Ever have I been
captivated;
seduced;
enthralled by
the warmth
and comfort
embracing
me.

Luminosity.

Nothing is more painful than realizing he meant everything to you, but you meant nothing to him. (Unknown)
© Copyright 2010 Melissa Reneé Axtell - All Rights Reserved
stargal
Senior Member
since 03-06-2006
Posts 1350
OR USA


1 posted 05-27-2010 11:29 AM       View Profile for stargal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for stargal

Hi, I really like this piece. I can see being embraced, and overwhelmed by the picture you’ve created. I kind of think that you could make it better without using the word “light” so much. I’m not sure how’d you even get around using it, but I think in describing, you referred back to light to much. It’s a great descriptor word (I mean heck, we all know light), but is there a way to get past using it as a hinge piece? I don’t know. Maybe sitting out in the sun with your eyes closed and just using what pops into your mind at the moment.

Anyway, good job. I enjoyed reading your piece.
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