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 Eye of the Storm
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Passions in Poetry

Eye of the Storm

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RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member
since 06-11-2007
Posts 1062
In Love <3


0 posted 05-22-2010 02:29 PM       View Profile for RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed


I am the eye of anuished storms
The broken silence that feels like scorn
But I have learned, though hearts dismay
That life changes if we learn to pray

I am strong, just like the sea
An ebbing quiet that sets you free
I am not shaken from sorrows past
Resolved to be the one that lasts

Where did the sun go that fell upon the trees?
Where is the family that prayed on bended knees?
Where is the home, the love, the life I yearn to live again?
Where did it go? Was it all pretend?

I am the eye of all the stoms
I am alone, I am forlorn
I am the last of the harmony!
Where did it go? Why can't I see?
It was all I ever wanted to believe!
Where did it go? Where did it go?
Why don't I know?

I have failed to stay the storm
Instead my eyes have found
I am the center, the core, I am the eye
The eye of the storm

"What are you!?"
"I'm complicated."

© Copyright 2010 RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed - All Rights Reserved
Octave
Member
since 07-29-2008
Posts 188
Highlands, Scotland.


1 posted 05-23-2010 04:59 AM       View Profile for Octave   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Octave

Ah, i really rather liked this. Couple of lines that tripped up the flow a little, i thought. But i thought there were some really great parts in here. Good write and brilliant concepts.
RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member
since 06-11-2007
Posts 1062
In Love <3


2 posted 05-23-2010 01:42 PM       View Profile for RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed

Yes, I know . . .  but they ideas were more important to me than flow when I wrote, and as an editor I couldn't bear to take them out . . . I know, what a stange woman am I.

"What are you!?"
"I'm complicated."

Earl Robertson
Senior Member
since 01-21-2008
Posts 753
BC, Canada


3 posted 05-24-2010 12:17 AM       View Profile for Earl Robertson   Email Earl Robertson   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Earl Robertson

Like Octave, I loved the poem, but feel the compulsion to fix the flow. (It could be truly amazing!!!) Forgive me...:p

I'm going to post a few of your stanza's again with subtle alterations, I will try not to change the meaning more than absolutely nessisary:

Where did the sun go that fell upon the trees?
Where is the family that prayed on bended knees?
Where is the home, to love, and live again?
Where did it go? Was it all pretend?

I am the eye of all the stoms
I am alone, I am forlorn
I am the last of the harmony!
Where did it go? Why can't I see,
All I wanted to believe?
Where did it go? Where did it go?
What is the question and why don't I know?

That I think is all it needs! I hope I didn't mess with your meanings overmuch!

Discipline is remembering what you want.
-David Cambell
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