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Teen Poetry #9

Palms To Chest

Octave
Member

since 2008-07-29

Posts 186
Highlands, Scotland.

0 posted 2010-05-16 03:02 PM

I don't like this. There are parts that could have been something, but it just didn't get there. It's been so long and i just really needed to write something and this came out.

Palms To Chest

Here we are, this is us
Sailed here on chewed up trust
Everything we’ve been made to be
Splattered out for all to see

Pinkies linked, skin bleeds grey
We’ve been stretched too far away
Muscles straining, deaf to sound
So far up and we can’t look down

Search ourselves to find the cause
Pick apart and ignore the flaws
Blame ourselves, blame each other
Kiss the sister, shoot the brother

Weaving sly between the lies
Both too proud to attempt to try
Palms to chest and knee to groin
We’re two sides of the same damned coin

Here we are, this is us
Sailed here on chewed up trust
Everything we’ve been made to be
In the end, it’s you and me.

Leanne <3
Member

since 2007-08-25

Posts 216
N.S.W, Australia

1 posted 2010-05-17 07:41 PM

You said it didn't quite get there, but i think this was perfect!
great write, i always enjoy reading your poems!
-Lee

nehematala
Member

since 2009-05-21

Posts 129

2 posted 2010-05-18 03:00 PM

this is a great poem.
Some of the best are ones that "just come out"

~Michelle

Octave
Member

since 2008-07-29

Posts 186
Highlands, Scotland.

3 posted 2010-05-22 07:46 PM

Thank you both! (:

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