What was the real thing he saw in you? You recognized it when he reflected it back at you. Simply because you lost a decent mirror doesn't mean you lost yourself, you know. That's one of the many functions of love; it lets us see parts of ourselves steadily, through the eyes of someone we believe. We can then take them back as part of ourselves — I am special and loveable, is an important piece of that, and often an enormous shock. The power of our own love to effect other people can be enormous as well. Sometimes we need to deal with the power of other attributes we have as well.
With you, right now, it sounds like you are dealing with the shocking if faint possibility of really and truly being a real live person that actually matters and has an impact on the world around her. All of a sudden, it's an issue, what do you look like, what do you feel like, how do you think as distinct from the look, thought and feeling of your family and friends? That is what it sounds like, though I must say, I'm wrong an awful lot.
You're using your poetry to help you put this into words. It doesn't matter that the idiot dumped you. What matters is that you got a short and intense glimpse of yourself and the possibilities that you might create for yourself when you allow yourself to feel hope in yourself. Keep writing and allow your material to flow, and show you some of the way into this new part of your life.
What a treat!
Sincerely, Bob Kaven