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 Teen Poetry #9
 Ready to walk away!
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Passions in Poetry

Ready to walk away!

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freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 09-12-2008
Posts 703
CA, USA


0 posted 03-27-2010 05:53 PM       View Profile for freeand2sexy   Email freeand2sexy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit freeand2sexy's Home Page   View IP for freeand2sexy


I was bored so I decided to revise an old poem

So here is my revision of I'm ready to walk away http://piptalk.com/pip/Forum108/HTML/000380.html


I'm sick of the arrogance
In your snarling voice.
Oh, those words that boil as you speak
It makes me feel
Like your sweat,  
Your mucus,
Your uncontrollable stink,

Like rain
That slips into the gutters
Forgotten,
Again and again,

But I'm ready to walk away
From all this hate
That lives within.

'Cause now, I've had it!

With the way your nights
Zip up my days
How your leaves
Are snarled in my rake
With old snow
Frozen deep within my throat

Oh, I've never been so ready
To walk away.

“All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling.”--Oscar Wilde

© Copyright 2010 Christine Juarez - All Rights Reserved
Falling rain
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 01-31-2008
Posts 2165
Small town, Illinois


1 posted 03-27-2010 06:11 PM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain

Wow this one is wayyy better then the version you had before. Congrats on becoming a great poet. Keep it up.

-Zach

Wish I could find love.. But all I find these days are superficial fish in shallow waters.

freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 09-12-2008
Posts 703
CA, USA


2 posted 03-27-2010 08:19 PM       View Profile for freeand2sexy   Email freeand2sexy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit freeand2sexy's Home Page   View IP for freeand2sexy

Thanks, Zach!!!

“All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling.”--Oscar Wilde

Taylor See
Member
since 10-07-2008
Posts 55
North Carolina, US


3 posted 03-29-2010 10:21 AM       View Profile for Taylor See   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Taylor See

I love this poem and the way it flows, as well as the great use of interesting images.

My favorite part:

With the way your nights
Zip up my days
How your leaves
Are snarled in my rake
With old snow
Frozen deep within my throat

Great read, great poet!

And as each player moves their piece, confident and tall
They forget that they can move themselves, in the greatest game of all

freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 09-12-2008
Posts 703
CA, USA


4 posted 03-29-2010 11:30 AM       View Profile for freeand2sexy   Email freeand2sexy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit freeand2sexy's Home Page   View IP for freeand2sexy

Thanks!!!

“All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling.”--Oscar Wilde

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