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Teen Poetry #9
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eternalbeauty
New Member
since 2010-03-23
Posts 5
NJ

0 posted 2010-03-25 07:35 PM


All was good with you and me
We both beleived it was meant to be
but one little secret turned things awry
now when I think of you;
all I do is cry.

I miss you,
I miss your kiss
I miss the never ending bliss.
Things were Oh, so perfect
when i was with you,
but now its all over
and with me, your through.

© Copyright 2010 Melanie. - All Rights Reserved
Falling rain
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois
1 posted 2010-03-25 09:22 PM


Not bad But the rhyming scheme was hard to follow. Maybe work on that? Otherwise good job.

Oh and welcome to Pip!!

-Zach

Wish I could find love.. But all I find these days are superficial fish in shallow waters.

freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704
CA, USA
2 posted 2010-03-27 05:23 PM


Nice write! I liked it!

Welcome to Pip!!!

“All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling.”--Oscar Wilde

eternalbeauty
New Member
since 2010-03-23
Posts 5
NJ
3 posted 2010-03-28 01:51 PM


thankss to both of you!

mella:)<3

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