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 Teen Poetry #9
 Little Secret.
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Passions in Poetry

Little Secret.

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eternalbeauty
New Member
since 03-23-2010
[First Post] 5
NJ


0 posted 03-25-2010 07:35 PM       View Profile for eternalbeauty   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for eternalbeauty

All was good with you and me
We both beleived it was meant to be
but one little secret turned things awry
now when I think of you;
all I do is cry.

I miss you,
I miss your kiss
I miss the never ending bliss.
Things were Oh, so perfect
when i was with you,
but now its all over
and with me, your through.
© Copyright 2010 Melanie. - All Rights Reserved
Falling rain
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 01-31-2008
Posts 2165
Small town, Illinois


1 posted 03-25-2010 09:22 PM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain

Not bad But the rhyming scheme was hard to follow. Maybe work on that? Otherwise good job.

Oh and welcome to Pip!!

-Zach

Wish I could find love.. But all I find these days are superficial fish in shallow waters.

freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 09-12-2008
Posts 703
CA, USA


2 posted 03-27-2010 05:23 PM       View Profile for freeand2sexy   Email freeand2sexy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit freeand2sexy's Home Page   View IP for freeand2sexy

Nice write! I liked it!

Welcome to Pip!!!

“All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling.”--Oscar Wilde

eternalbeauty
New Member
since 03-23-2010
Posts 5
NJ


3 posted 03-28-2010 01:51 PM       View Profile for eternalbeauty   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for eternalbeauty

thankss to both of you!

mella:)<3

 
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