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 ... a grumbling tongue and tips do err..
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Passions in Poetry

... a grumbling tongue and tips do err....

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LoveAbounds
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since 07-15-2009
Posts 38


0 posted 02-27-2010 02:43 PM       View Profile for LoveAbounds   Email LoveAbounds   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveAbounds

Long living has my yearning been,
for naught but friendship to begin.
Though fervor nonetheless resides,
those sentiments are pure within.

A grumbling tongue and tips do err;
heart stirring words from thence are rare;
yet only these will be approved,
for lack portrays me not to care.

A peace and knitting is afar,
by far more distant than we are,
but in this is a thing alike,
a great and mystifying star.

"For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of love, and of power, and of a sound mind." - 2 Timothy 1:7

© Copyright 2010 Guido Arbia - All Rights Reserved
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 03-07-2001
Posts 19652
British Columbia, Canada


1 posted 02-27-2010 03:26 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Beautifully constructed!
freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 09-12-2008
Posts 703
CA, USA


2 posted 03-20-2010 02:18 AM       View Profile for freeand2sexy   Email freeand2sexy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit freeand2sexy's Home Page   View IP for freeand2sexy

Nice write! I thought it could of flowed a bit better, but other than that I really liked it!

“All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling.”--Oscar Wilde

Stitches
Member
since 11-27-2009
Posts 151
United Kingdom


3 posted 03-22-2010 05:45 AM       View Profile for Stitches   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Stitches

I love the structure, it was a very engaging read.

'I feel like an animal, and I don't think that I get it. But one day I'll see you around.'

Falling rain
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Member Elite
since 01-31-2008
Posts 2165
Small town, Illinois


4 posted 03-22-2010 09:35 AM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain

Wow. Nice write.

Wish I could find love.. But all I find these days are superficial fish in shallow waters.

Taylor See
Member
since 10-07-2008
Posts 55
North Carolina, US


5 posted 03-25-2010 10:43 AM       View Profile for Taylor See   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Taylor See

The structure is excellent and holds the poem together so well and guides me through it as I read. Very nice work.

The rhyming doesn't feel forced or contrived and seems to naturally occur in the poem, which is something that I truly admire.

Looking forward to more,

~Taylor

And as each player moves their piece, confident and tall
They forget that they can move themselves, in the greatest game of all

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