Letter of affliction - pipTalk Forums

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freeand2sexy
Senior Member

since 2008-09-12

Posts 704
CA, USA

0 posted 2010-02-18 10:23 PM

The edge of this paper makes me burn,
With heat I have never felt.

The wrinkled corners bring acid tears,
As my cheeks begin to melt,

But the words…

Those words!

Hold so many needles, in and out,

As each puncture and prick,
All the little pieces, of myself.

“All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling.”--Oscar Wilde

[This message has been edited by freeand2sexy (02-19-2010 03:25 AM).]

Chalmette Guy
Senior Member

since 2009-03-11

Posts 1257
Louisiana

1 posted 2010-02-19 10:58 AM

I love this.
I am glad I stopped by in the Teen forum.
It reminds me of my teen years and when I started writing.
This brings it all back with a rush.

Thank you.

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

2 posted 2010-02-21 03:01 PM

I wonder why I love this poem soo much?

Great job.

-Zach

freeand2sexy
Senior Member

since 2008-09-12

Posts 704
CA, USA

3 posted 2010-02-22 10:53 PM

Thanks!!!!

“All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling.”--Oscar Wilde

Bob K
Member Elite

since 2007-11-03

Posts 4208

4 posted 2010-02-24 03:39 AM

I like what you're trying to pick up about diction here, F & 2 S.  I wonder if you've seen any poems by a woman named Ai.  A number of here poems, especially some of the poems she wrote in the 70's, would have some language and some ways of putting that language that would speak to you about what's essential and what's not.

     I think if you read some of her stuff, you'd get more about what I'm talking about than you would if I tried to explain it to you, but it's something about not being able to get a needle in the spaces between the words without bending the needle, if that makes any sense to you.  A lot of her images are real as a raw egg yolk slipping over your palm.  You need to hear and see and read the stuff, though, to get a belly sense of who she is and what she's about, and there's something the two of you seem to have in common, I feel, that I hope you will enjoy.

     If you do, and have the energy for it, let me know.  I'd like to know about that.

Bob Kaven

freeand2sexy
Senior Member

since 2008-09-12

Posts 704
CA, USA

5 posted 2010-02-25 12:58 PM

Hi Bob K! It been a while!

Yes, actually, I have read a few poems by Ai. I really like her style. I kinda get what your saying, somewhat.

“All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling.”--Oscar Wilde

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