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 Untitled
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Passions in Poetry

Untitled

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HersheyKiss
Member
since 06-02-2008
Posts 137
New Jersey


0 posted 02-10-2010 04:00 PM       View Profile for HersheyKiss   Email HersheyKiss   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for HersheyKiss

Hey. Back for a little. This is not one of my best but means a lot to me. Please let me know what you think.

Untitled:

He screamed and he cursed
Yelled at me some more
But he never had to suffer the pain
Of walking through that door
The door that leads to nowhere but death
I walked through that door
Scared and alone
I watched pale faced women go
looking as dead as the babes they left behind
I sat in that waiting room
As women much older than me began to cry
Knowing soon that their babies would die
The doctor called me in
Made me wear one of them ugly gowns
Nurses come and go
Their faces stuck in a permanent frown
They did their job
Then left me to cry
Trying to think of a lie
A lie I'd tell my father
When he'd ask here I'd been
Knowing the whole time
I had committed the worst sin
© Copyright 2010 Danielle - All Rights Reserved
XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member
since 01-20-2008
Posts 887
Neverland


1 posted 02-12-2010 09:44 PM       View Profile for XxForever.BrokenxX   Email XxForever.BrokenxX   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for XxForever.BrokenxX

I can't really think of anything to say except that this is not one of your worst. Poetry is written to express emotion, and you did that very well.
I want you to know that if you want you can talk to me any time. I'm here for you.

library.

{~~*~~}

EmilyTheStrange
{~~*~~}
I have a pet unicorn...his name is Flavius, as in Flavius Belby. Flavius does not like gumballs..

Falling rain
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 01-31-2008
Posts 2165
Small town, Illinois


2 posted 02-15-2010 10:59 AM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain

I.. I really don't know what to say... your poem is very strong..

-Zach
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