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Passions in Poetry

I Cried Today...

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Just.Another.Falling.Star
Member
since 05-08-2008
Posts 427
Canada


0 posted 01-14-2010 06:31 PM       View Profile for Just.Another.Falling.Star   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Just.Another.Falling.Star's Home Page   View IP for Just.Another.Falling.Star

This isn't my best, simply because I wrote it out of every emotion I had in me at the time.

---

I don't know how to explain it,
simply because I can't find the words.
There's so many in my head...
I don't know which to choose.

It's like I'm in a dessert
searching for water.
There's not to be found,
and there's no one to help me.

I'm stuck in this world
trying to meet all the standards,
but I never will...
and I'm picked at it constantly.

My heart aches from the pain
of the words you wounded me with.
I'm not good enough,
and I never will be.

I cried today.
It was horrible.
I told myself I wouldn't,
but I failed there too.

julianna

everyone's normal [until you get to know them]

© Copyright 2010 Julianna - All Rights Reserved
Leanne <3
Member
since 08-25-2007
Posts 217
N.S.W, Australia


1 posted 01-14-2010 06:44 PM       View Profile for Leanne <3   Email Leanne <3   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Leanne <3

this one was so sad and beautiful!
well written
-Lee
kjsd
Member
since 01-07-2010
Posts 73
sd usa


2 posted 01-16-2010 03:02 PM       View Profile for kjsd   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for kjsd

nice job
Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 01-27-2008
Posts 9055
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


3 posted 01-18-2010 03:29 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Julianna,

I felt your emotion and the pain.  The only thing that broke the mood was the misspelling of "desert" - you wrote of an after dinner delight.  So, if you change that word - the spell won't be broken.

Thank you for sharing this.
Alison
precious pearls
Member
since 07-24-2009
Posts 110
NJ; United States


4 posted 01-21-2010 09:31 PM       View Profile for precious pearls   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for precious pearls

it was so..beautiful and sad at the same time!....
excellent...
and heartbraking....
Marine4life
New Member
since 02-28-2010
Posts 5


5 posted 03-05-2010 10:01 AM       View Profile for Marine4life   Email Marine4life   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marine4life

dude i can tottally relate to this

My heart aches from the pain
of the words you wounded me with.
I'm not good enough,
and I never will be.

nice write! keep it up
Chalmette Guy
Senior Member
since 03-11-2009
Posts 1256
Louisiana


6 posted 03-05-2010 11:08 AM       View Profile for Chalmette Guy   Email Chalmette Guy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Chalmette Guy

Sometimes when you write from the emotion you're feeling right then and there, those are the best poems...at least to me they are.
Those are always my favorites of mine.

This is good, anything that is raw and emotional is, and you should be proud of this.
BrittanyJ
Member
since 06-03-2007
Posts 460
Come find me?


7 posted 03-05-2010 02:21 PM       View Profile for BrittanyJ   Email BrittanyJ   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for BrittanyJ

"I cried today.
It was horrible.
I told myself I wouldn't,
but I failed there too."

Sad but beautiful.

Do you really love me? Or should i just let go now??

Just.Another.Falling.Star
Member
since 05-08-2008
Posts 427
Canada


8 posted 03-05-2010 11:35 PM       View Profile for Just.Another.Falling.Star   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Just.Another.Falling.Star's Home Page   View IP for Just.Another.Falling.Star

thanks so much everyone : )

julianna

everyone's normal [until you get to know them]

Stitches
Member
since 11-27-2009
Posts 151
United Kingdom


9 posted 03-12-2010 05:17 PM       View Profile for Stitches   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Stitches

Touching.

'I feel like an animal, and I don't think that I get it. But one day I'll see you around.'

LittleWillow
Member
since 12-27-2007
Posts 54


10 posted 03-13-2010 07:54 PM       View Profile for LittleWillow   Email LittleWillow   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LittleWillow


Love the ending! Very well done
Laverne Pacquire
Member
since 11-15-2009
Posts 95


11 posted 03-21-2010 05:44 PM       View Profile for Laverne Pacquire   Email Laverne Pacquire   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Laverne Pacquire

I enjoyed the first 2 stanzas.
I adore the title.

attractive
Just.Another.Falling.Star
Member
since 05-08-2008
Posts 427
Canada


12 posted 03-21-2010 10:59 PM       View Profile for Just.Another.Falling.Star   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Just.Another.Falling.Star's Home Page   View IP for Just.Another.Falling.Star

thank you so much : )

julianna

"Many of the most significant moments in our lives come not because it all went right, but because it all fell apart." - Rob Bell

Taylor See
Member
since 10-07-2008
Posts 55
North Carolina, US


13 posted 03-25-2010 10:29 AM       View Profile for Taylor See   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Taylor See

This poem was lovely. I love your writing style.
For me, a poem shouldn't rhyme unless it feels natural, and honestly I prefer ones that rely on their rhythm and flow for their beauty.

Fantastic work!

And as each player moves their piece, confident and tall
They forget that they can move themselves, in the greatest game of all

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