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 Morphine
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Passions in Poetry

Morphine

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Snow_Angel
Junior Member
since 12-18-2009
Posts 17


0 posted 12-18-2009 08:01 PM       View Profile for Snow_Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Snow_Angel


Drowning
Suffocating
No longer able to reach the surface
I can't reach the hand held out to me
But I don't know if I want to


No pain here
Just deranged happiness

© Copyright 2009 Sarah - All Rights Reserved
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 03-07-2001
Posts 19652
British Columbia, Canada


1 posted 12-18-2009 08:19 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

That is a very dangerous pain killer if not regulated properly.  It takes away the pain, and yet I thought this could be a metaphor for anything like love, caring, etc.  Well done.
ThatOneGuy
Junior Member
since 10-27-2009
Posts 32
Indiana, United States


2 posted 12-26-2009 02:01 AM       View Profile for ThatOneGuy   Email ThatOneGuy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ThatOneGuy

i really like this because it made me think of all the possible things it could mean/you could have meant by it. that is a mark of good writing
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 10-29-2000
Posts 19275
Between the Lines


3 posted 12-27-2009 08:55 AM       View Profile for nakdthoughts   Email nakdthoughts   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nakdthoughts

Sarah, some excellent writing.

M
duckboy
New Member
since 01-02-2010
Posts 9


4 posted 01-02-2010 03:37 AM       View Profile for duckboy   Email duckboy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for duckboy

Your first two lines are great. For me it sort of opened up multiple meanings to the poem.
Phillip
New Member
since 01-05-2010
Posts 3
Canada


5 posted 01-05-2010 04:33 AM       View Profile for Phillip   Email Phillip   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Phillip

I personally think that some more imagery could take this poem closer to the reader. Either way, it is short and sweet. Respect for putting your ideas up for public view.
Snow_Angel
Junior Member
since 12-18-2009
Posts 17


6 posted 01-05-2010 06:53 PM       View Profile for Snow_Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Snow_Angel

Thanks for all the great input and feedback everyone. And the point of this was to let the reader think what they wanted. It was to let them ponder on what it meant. Making it mean something more personal to them than making them see what I was seeing.
Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member
since 03-23-2007
Posts 623
Space Camp, IN


7 posted 01-21-2010 07:09 PM       View Profile for Clockwork_Orange   Email Clockwork_Orange   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Clockwork_Orange's Home Page   View IP for Clockwork_Orange

great post and great read. very interesting indeed. morphine is a killer no more than a filler. but you put it to words and its so good it burns.

~ you cant run from yourself ~

 
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