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 Teen Poetry #9
 not so perfect
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Passions in Poetry

not so perfect

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m48
Member
since 12-02-2009
Posts 106


0 posted 12-17-2009 03:22 PM       View Profile for m48   Email m48   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for m48


im not your reflection
in the mirror
you tell everyone
you have such a good girl
but yet it seems
sometimes you dont trust
my common sense
yes im you daughter
your little girl
really though im an adult
to eyes of the world

you are who i look up to
my hero if you will
but realize we dont think the same way
know its ok for me to learn
from a mistake
life is trial and error
of course you want to be there
also that youre going to worry
but im telling you
the daughter you raised
will be ok
you did an awsome job

also im nearly twenty
with two jobs and a diploma
you must have done something right
so thanks mommy
and i really hate when we fight
so lets try to do it less
love and kisses
youre the best
© Copyright 2009 Tes - All Rights Reserved
Ravagence
Member
since 08-16-2009
Posts 79


1 posted 12-17-2009 04:13 PM       View Profile for Ravagence   Email Ravagence   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ravagence

First stanza is excellent, second is good, but the third lacks what the second and first had. I find it hard to be consistent.
m48
Member
since 12-02-2009
Posts 106


2 posted 12-18-2009 01:34 PM       View Profile for m48   Email m48   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for m48

thank you i will take a look and see what i can do.
 
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