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 2 POEMS!!!
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Passions in Poetry

2 POEMS!!!

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lkuey126
New Member
since 12-14-2009
[First Post] 1


0 posted 12-14-2009 02:48 PM       View Profile for lkuey126   Email lkuey126   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for lkuey126

Hey, I am a new user to this website and would like some feedback on my two new poems.  They are both about teen loves which end.

My first poem - "The Path of Forever"-

As hard as I try to forget,
Part of me is gone.
Memory keeps crawling back,
But whatís done is done

Your reflection in the mirror,
Brings your dark side out,
Remembering the hate,
The fear and the doubt.

You wonít last forever,
And time will catch up on you
Donít wish your life away,
Or Death will take that from you too

When you feel like youíre defeated,
Life will send you a sign
That you are not alone,
Just give it time.

My memories will never change,
I wish you luck on your endeavor
So you pack your bags, shedding a tear,
Down the path of forever...


__________________________________________

My second poem - "The Shattered Remains of my Heart-

Why love someone who grabs your heart
Then rips it up in front of you?

I look at the bright side of life,
Then flee when they clouds chase me

The nightmares begin,
I can't do this without you

I gave you my heart
And told you to be careful

But you threw it to the ground
And smashed it to pieces

I am alone, no-one to hold
All I have left is

A broken heart
And no glue to mend it


______________________________

Thanks, I look forward to the feedback:

Luke

P.S-  All rights reserved.  (C) 2009-2010 Luke Morley
© Copyright 2009 lkuey126 - All Rights Reserved
m48
Member
since 12-02-2009
Posts 106


1 posted 12-14-2009 06:01 PM       View Profile for m48   Email m48   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for m48

i liked both for diffrent reasons the first one was well written. i liked the message. the second is becouse i have been there. both becouse they made me think.

and welcome.from m48.
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 03-07-2001
Posts 19652
British Columbia, Canada


2 posted 12-14-2009 07:42 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Welcome to Passions Ikuey126, your first posting sure tells the story of many a young love been and gone.  You may have gotten more feedback is you had posted them as separate poems though.

Check your email for a special welcome from all of us.

            
Happy Holidays
♥ Mysteria ♥

lkuey126 will be notified of replies
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