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 Scared to Hope
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Passions in Poetry

Scared to Hope

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precious pearls
Member
since 07-24-2009
Posts 110
NJ; United States


0 posted 11-19-2009 08:08 PM       View Profile for precious pearls   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for precious pearls


Scared to Hope

I think about my past
And how life goes so fast
What if I donít fulfill all my dreams?
When I look at my life on the outside looking in
All is not what is seems

From the time my mother messed up her life
To where my life begins
Is that where Iíll end up?
The same path my mother did
The same path that Iíve witnessed myself as a little kid
A path that my mind and my heart have forbid
Me to go down
The path Iím so afraid of, sometimes I feel like Iíll drown
In my own worry....

What if Iím never happy?
Truly and completely
What if Iím going to always worry?
And fret and agonize
On the life that I have
And the life I want to have

I want a life where I have a husband and kids
I want a life where Iím famous for my writing
I donít want a life where Iím always battling
My insecurities
I donít want a life thatís full of frenemies
And people I donít know whether I should trust or not
I donít want a life where the only thing I care about is pot

Iím scared to let myself be totally vulnerable with a guy
Iím scared to let people know about my low self-esteem
Iím scared to live in reality, so I daydream
Iím scared to die

I want to hope for a better life for myself
To believe that Iíll be happy
To accept that Iím beautiful and agree
To know that my father cared
Even though I know it isnít true...
I want to hope
But Iím scared

© Copyright 2009 Kai Alexander - All Rights Reserved
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 03-07-2001
Posts 19652
British Columbia, Canada


1 posted 11-19-2009 10:16 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

I think each of us at one time or another is scared, and especially of the unknown.  The beauty about having some bad enter our lives, is that we sure can appreciate the good times when they are there.  So many will never repeat what was uncomfortable in their youth, and that is the wonderful thing about each generation, they get better!

Well done.
precious pearls
Member
since 07-24-2009
Posts 110
NJ; United States


2 posted 12-07-2009 04:05 PM       View Profile for precious pearls   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for precious pearls

thx 4 tha comment... but i don't necessarily agree with that last part. Some teenage mothers are the daughters of THEIR teenage mother(does that make sense?) anyways, i get what u r saying, and in my case, I totally agree with you.... to an extent. Nobody knows what life may throw their way. My grandma's sister did drugs, and my mother knew that, and yet she still did them, too, even though my granma's sister died from it.The point is that that's what I'm afraid of. Some things happened in my mother's life that caused her to go down that path. What if I'm not strong enough to resist like my mother was?
Like I said, you never know what life throws your way.
-Kai
p.s. thx 4 bein tha firs 2 post
 
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