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 Teen Poetry #9
 See Fun Proud Care Glad Say True
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Passions in Poetry

See Fun Proud Care Glad Say True

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madelyn
Member
since 09-03-2009
Posts 172
Purgatory


0 posted 11-05-2009 02:42 AM       View Profile for madelyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for madelyn

Are you happy to see,
What you've done to me?

Are you having fun,
Taking away my sun?

Are you really that proud,
Making my life such a rain cloud?

Do you really care?
I think you are so unfair!

Are you really glad,
About making my life so sad?

Most people say,
It'll be Ok...

But I l know what's true,
You always meant to make me blue.
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Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 03-07-2001
Posts 19652
British Columbia, Canada


1 posted 11-05-2009 01:32 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

I loved your poem, and the message is one a lot of people are going to identify with.  However, the title threw me, and might I suggest a simple title, like "Blue?"  Right away that one word can tell the reader what your beautifully rhymed poem might be about.

Nicely done.
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