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 Singsong Defeat
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Passions in Poetry

Singsong Defeat

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Ravagence
Member
since 08-16-2009
Posts 79


0 posted 10-17-2009 11:36 AM       View Profile for Ravagence   Email Ravagence   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ravagence

Coated in confusion,
Your words don't flow
Cut apart by your
ignorance;
and scrambled by your innocence.

Left powerless and weak
by your insensibility
You cannot see through the glass
when your face is too
close, and it fogs.

Your notions are tired,
you might as well give it a
rest;
Since you cannot win this battle drowsily,
then you might end up in defeat.


© Copyright 2009 Ravagence - All Rights Reserved
freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 09-12-2008
Posts 703
CA, USA


1 posted 10-17-2009 09:40 PM       View Profile for freeand2sexy   Email freeand2sexy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit freeand2sexy's Home Page   View IP for freeand2sexy

I really like this, it's awesome.

I think you should take out the last line, though; you really don't need it.

The hardest part about writing poetry,
is trying not to write like everyone else.

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