How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Main Forums
 Teen Poetry #9
 Journey
 1 2 3 4 5
Follow us on Facebook

 Moderated by: Acies, Dopey Dope, SEA   (Admins )

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

Journey

 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
kindredspirit
Member
since 05-19-2009
Posts 156


0 posted 10-02-2009 11:45 AM       View Profile for kindredspirit   Email kindredspirit   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for kindredspirit

Soaring in between the lines
She reads to leave herself behind
Stark reality paper thin
Black on white endeavors begin
Traipsing through windswept sand
Boldly crossing foreign lands
Star-crossed strangers fall in lust
Induced by fate to die in trust
Words fill up a personal void
Ellipse the boundaries we’ve employed
Oceans part between the lines
I read to leave the world behind.

© Copyright 2009 Kara Fohner - All Rights Reserved
stargal
Senior Member
since 03-06-2006
Posts 1350
OR USA


1 posted 10-03-2009 12:18 AM       View Profile for stargal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for stargal

Though some of the words/phrases seem a bit cliché, I think you caught the feel of the message and expressed it well. I enjoyed this immensely in that I was able to go, "Yes, this sounds like something I would do." I believe you were able to "relate" to the reader (audience) on a personal level. Which many people have trouble doing.

Thanks for sharing.
priyanka
Member
since 06-15-2009
Posts 212
india


2 posted 10-04-2009 06:28 PM       View Profile for priyanka   Email priyanka   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for priyanka

terrific write...
kindredspirit
Member
since 05-19-2009
Posts 156


3 posted 10-05-2009 11:38 AM       View Profile for kindredspirit   Email kindredspirit   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for kindredspirit

stargal- thankyou for the critique. i'm glad you were able to identify with my poem.

priyanka- yay! thanks, i'm glad you liked it.
Assassin_of_Verse
Member
since 10-23-2007
Posts 330
that So Cal


4 posted 10-08-2009 02:48 AM       View Profile for Assassin_of_Verse   Email Assassin_of_Verse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Assassin_of_Verse

Lol, the poem's like a journey to find yourself. So in a sense, a journey within a journey. XD

Good job!

There is power in the pen.

kindredspirit
Member
since 05-19-2009
Posts 156


5 posted 10-08-2009 11:46 AM       View Profile for kindredspirit   Email kindredspirit   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for kindredspirit

Assassin-Thanks!!  
 
 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Main Forums >> Teen Poetry #9 >> Journey Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors