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Passions in Poetry

Show Me You Love Me

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Emi<3Naruto =]
Junior Member
since 09-05-2009
Posts 32


0 posted 09-06-2009 01:33 PM       View Profile for Emi<3Naruto =]   Email Emi<3Naruto =]   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Emi<3Naruto =]

I dont want to hold your hand from across the table,
I want to hold it from the seat right next to me.

I dont't want to watch you give your time to everyone but me,
I want to be with you every second of every day.

I dont want to be a thought that rarely enters your mind,
I want to be your first thought when you wake up and your last thought before you go to sleep, as you are mine.

I don't want a stranger to wonder if we're dating,
I want them to know we're in love as soon as they see our faces.

I don't want to feel a million miles away from you,
I want to be as close as if we were connected.

I don't want to be just another person,
I want to be your best friend.

I don't want to have seperate minds,
I want to share the same thoughts.

I don't want an extreme but empty gesture,
I want a little thing that's filled with meaning.

I dont want to just be told the words "i love you",

I want to hear it in your voice,
I want to feel it in your touch,
I want to see it in your eyes,
I want to know from everything you do...

Show me you love me.





© Copyright 2009 Emi<3Naruto =] - All Rights Reserved
Emi<3Naruto =]
Junior Member
since 09-05-2009
Posts 32


1 posted 09-06-2009 09:46 PM       View Profile for Emi<3Naruto =]   Email Emi<3Naruto =]   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Emi<3Naruto =]

I'd just like to let everyone know that in the line where I say "I want to feel it in your touch" i do mean things like hand holding and hugging.
hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 06-18-2006
Posts 2539
Canada


2 posted 09-10-2009 08:03 PM       View Profile for hunnie_girl   Email hunnie_girl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for hunnie_girl

i think we all got the meaning nice poem i liked the way you wrappedup the ending. constructive critique» try making the lines all the same length near the same amount of syllables to increase the flow. Welcome to Passions and hope to read more
Krysti
madelyn
Member
since 09-03-2009
Posts 172
Purgatory


3 posted 09-11-2009 06:56 AM       View Profile for madelyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for madelyn

Very Beautiful.
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 10-29-2000
Posts 19275
Between the Lines


4 posted 09-11-2009 08:43 AM       View Profile for nakdthoughts   Email nakdthoughts   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nakdthoughts

well done~~

I only suggest that you really do want to have seperate minds

"I don't want to have seperate minds,"

but can share some of the same thoughts... having much in common.

You wouldn't want to be exactly the same as another because there would be no excitement and growth in the relationship.

Otherwise I think  I couldn't have said it any better...what loving is all about.


M
Emi<3Naruto =]
Junior Member
since 09-05-2009
Posts 32


5 posted 01-28-2010 01:34 AM       View Profile for Emi<3Naruto =]   Email Emi<3Naruto =]   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Emi<3Naruto =]

thx for the comments u guys
 
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