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 Teen Poetry #9
 Missing you;
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Passions in Poetry

Missing you;

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Joshycakes
New Member
since 08-26-2009
[First Post] 1


0 posted 08-26-2009 09:21 PM       View Profile for Joshycakes   Email Joshycakes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Joshycakes

"NOTE" Before i post this i would like to say this is not a suicide poem i wrote this for a friend because she means alot to me and some guy broke her heart this poem taught her "suicide" was not the answer, and i'am glad to save a life. This is my poem, i wrote this so no copyright please, and i would like some comments cause this is my first time posting my poetry.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Missing you;
From the bottom of my heart.

Missing you;
you said "nothing could break us apart".

Missing you;
Now i know your feelings was fake.

Missing you;
I know this because i felt my heart break.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Missing you;
I thought we was ment to be

Missing you;
Just you and me.

Missing you;
All you ever said to me was a lie.

Missing you;
I'm so hurt i no longer want to try.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Missing you;
Feeling sad and listening to our song.

Missing you;
I just can't believe your feelings for me are finally gone.

Missing you;
I realized can no longer live my life.

Missing you;
I love you, talking to the blade of the knife.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
© Copyright 2009 Joshycakes - All Rights Reserved
Falling rain
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Member Elite
since 01-31-2008
Posts 2165
Small town, Illinois


1 posted 08-27-2009 05:47 PM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain

Hey, Welcome to Pip!!!

This is a pretty good poem. And I'm glad you could help out a friend. But I think the poem would sound better without the "missing you" line written so many times. But the poem's still good. Keep writing.

-Zach
Ravagence
Member
since 08-16-2009
Posts 79


2 posted 08-28-2009 07:26 PM       View Profile for Ravagence   Email Ravagence   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ravagence

I was never a fan of rhyming poetry, I only found it annoying. No before you stop reading, what seems like, my negative comment, I wish to tell you that you taught me that
a)Rhyming Poetry is/can be amazing
and
b)That you are, not only a great poet(ess) but that you are a thoughtful, and sincere friend.

This is THEE most amazing piece of rhyming poetry ever!

PS>
The way you wrote the poem was perfect.
 
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