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Teen Poetry #9

Judgment has been passed

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member

since 2007-03-23

Posts 620
Space Camp, IN

0 posted 2009-08-21 05:33 PM

judgement has been passed
the days are growing cold
somehow you still seem to think
that the world owes you smoke
but the judgement has been passed
incarceration has repeat itself
the chains hold you back, hold you down
but your memories wont melt
yes the judgment has been passed
on this sad day of mourn
cold and feeble in the distance
the rain begins to pour

freeand2sexy
Senior Member

since 2008-09-12

Posts 704
CA, USA

1 posted 2009-08-23 12:51 PM

I thought this was interesting, though I think you should change,

"incarceration has repeat itself"

to

incarceration repeats itself

I always enjoy reading your poems! Keep up the writing!

The hardest part about writing poetry,
is trying not to write like everyone else.

stacylynn418
Junior Member

since 2009-03-06

Posts 40
new york

2 posted 2009-08-23 01:22 AM

i really enjoyed reading this. great job :]

Elias Nevermore
Member

since 2007-11-03

Posts 152

3 posted 2009-08-25 12:37 PM

I thoroughly enjoyed this poem. It is a great work, and I look forward to your next poem.

precious pearls
Member

since 2009-07-24

Posts 110
NJ; United States

4 posted 2009-08-25 03:47 PM

The poem just speaks to me... like all your writing does....
But that aside, i liked it cuz it has a certain intensity to it, I can't explain how, but for me, it does
I really look forward to your next poem...

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