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Passions in Poetry

The Feelings I Have Toward My Forever Mommy

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precious pearls
Member
since 07-24-2009
Posts 110
NJ; United States


0 posted 08-19-2009 04:35 PM       View Profile for precious pearls   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for precious pearls

The Feelings I Have Toward My Forever Mommy

I wrapped my arms around my knees
As the tears started to fall
You see what you want to see
When you hear the doubt in my voice
You blow it off and then have the gall
To come in at the wee hours of the morning
And act like everythingís good and dazzling...

I donít even bother to say
That you promised to be right back
I donít even bother to say
How much it hurts when you want to do crack
Instead of being home
I donít even bother to say
How it makes me feel spasms of alone...

They wash over me
And then I feel stupid
Because I know itís irrational-
I know I have other family
Who can make the hurt under control and stable
And I know that it has nothing to do with me
I know that you canít help it
But it doesnít stop the hurt and pain in my heart
Like Iíve just been hit
In the chest with a five-hundred pound rock

Nobody gets why that is
Why I know that itís not my fault
But it still throws salt
On my injured heart
When she says sheíll be right back
And then the tears start
They think I should be used to it by now
That I should just accept it and move on
But it still hurts and it leaves me scarred somehow

People say you just have to pick yourself up
And move on with your life
But how do you move on
When you feel like youíve been stabbed by a knife
Every couple of days
When youíre scared that your supposed-to-be icon
Is the one that makes your heart weigh
Five-hundred pounds

Itís easier said than done to just pick yourself up
And keep on moving
Letís just say itís not as easy as watching the sun rising

And so I cried a lot
But most of it I did inside
For now Iím stronger to hold them in
Until sheís hurt me one time too many
And I know that a part of me
Will always be hurting
Because she will forever be my mommy

© Copyright 2009 Kai Alexander - All Rights Reserved
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 10-29-2000
Posts 19275
Between the Lines


1 posted 08-22-2009 09:21 AM       View Profile for nakdthoughts   Email nakdthoughts   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nakdthoughts

despite the hurt and sadness which comes through your words, this is a beautifully loving poem~~

If true, you do the best you can and if need be write it out and seek some help although I can tell from your words that you  don't take any blame~~ a good sign.


M
Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 01-27-2008
Posts 9055
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


2 posted 09-03-2009 09:30 PM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

I think this poem showcases your compassion and incredible strength.  You appear to have a very realistic view and you write about your reality well.  I am seeking out your poems now because you touch me.

Alison
precious pearls
Member
since 07-24-2009
Posts 110
NJ; United States


3 posted 09-16-2009 03:29 PM       View Profile for precious pearls   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for precious pearls

Thank you allison.... I'm on the verge of tears, because 4 u 2 say that..... It just means so much more than i can say.... truly and from the bottom of my heart, thank you 4 those simple words.... because i believe every writer/poet wants 2 hear those words that u wrote, whether on paper or in person

Always,
   Kai (a.k.a. precious pearls)

 
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