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 Teen Poetry #9
 youll never make it
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Passions in Poetry

youll never make it

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Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member
since 03-23-2007
Posts 623
Space Camp, IN


0 posted 08-18-2009 02:38 PM       View Profile for Clockwork_Orange   Email Clockwork_Orange   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Clockwork_Orange's Home Page   View IP for Clockwork_Orange

tell me your intentions with the greatest of care
forget about the details, why are you here
is there another line of lies for me to eat up
and waste my life for six more months

you show up for the fist time in weeks
at three a.m. when im trying to sleep
with another excuse for me to believe
why you would leave

but i dont care
because the scars are too deep
resentment shows more
with every breath you breath

so turn around walk the fifteen miles home
because it just so happens i lost my phone....

(ring ring)

"hold on this call is important
i have to take this
you better start walking
or you'll never make it"


© Copyright 2009 Bryan Lucas - All Rights Reserved
precious pearls
Member
since 07-24-2009
Posts 110
NJ; United States


1 posted 08-19-2009 04:05 PM       View Profile for precious pearls   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for precious pearls

I liked it... it was very emotional and you had a definite fervor to your words... The only thing is that I didn't get that last part.. you said "you better start walking
or you'll never make it" maybe i'm just having one of my moments and being thick, but i didn't get that... Otherwise, touching and passionate poem!! All of your stuff like that, you shud try getting them published too!

Always,
   Kai (a.k.a. precious pearls)

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member
since 03-23-2007
Posts 623
Space Camp, IN


2 posted 08-20-2009 07:41 AM       View Profile for Clockwork_Orange   Email Clockwork_Orange   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Clockwork_Orange's Home Page   View IP for Clockwork_Orange

its talking about sending her home...kind of rudely. i wrote it about my ex.
 
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