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 Teen Poetry #9
 To the ones empty of criticisms.
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Passions in Poetry

To the ones empty of criticisms.

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LoveAbounds
Junior Member
since 07-15-2009
Posts 38


0 posted 08-18-2009 02:19 PM       View Profile for LoveAbounds   Email LoveAbounds   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveAbounds

Your indolence restrains the scroll;
search not you after words of coal?
None of you either read or praise,
or dare commend a single phrase.

Who puts the rhythm in the sound,
and yet is scarcely near renowned?
You judge the content by the name,
and raise each other up in fame.

Therefore do tell me, what Iíve done,
to make the reading far from fun,
to entertain what can I do?
How can I reach the likes of you?

"For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of love, and of power, and of a sound mind." - 2 Timothy 1:7

© Copyright 2009 Guido Arbia - All Rights Reserved
Assassin_of_Verse
Member
since 10-23-2007
Posts 330
that So Cal


1 posted 08-21-2009 03:05 AM       View Profile for Assassin_of_Verse   Email Assassin_of_Verse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Assassin_of_Verse

Wow. Ur poem was fun to read, but very confusing. Not confusing as in bad, but hard to understand.

First of all, i wasn't sure bout the 2nd line in the first stanza: "search not you after words of coal?" the following lines make it sound like the ppl ur refering to do nothing but say negative things (or neglect to say positive things). But doesn't coal usually mean something dirty, or even darkened? Which would usually make "search not you after words of coal?" sound like the "critic" are only praising.

The 2nd stanza was pretty clear to me. I also liked ur choice of words and rhyme.

However, the 3rd stanza left me a bit confused. Hmm, wat is the speaker asking for? A chance at critique? That would mean that the first two stanzas could be refering to shallow (or horrible) critics who do nothing for new or yet-to-be recognized writers. Or is the speaker looking for critics that do more than just praise, maybe uncomfortable with the lack of an honest critique?

Haha, this one REALy made me think. I'm dying to know the answer...But don't actually tell me. Lol, I guess it'd diminsh the fun of the poem (for me).

Nice job!

There is power in the pen.

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


2 posted 08-22-2009 11:01 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

There's a simple rule by which we live..
If you wanna get you have to give.
You want responses? Hey, that's cool.
Let's see you live that golden rule.

Don't criticize the others who
Don't do the same things you don't do.
One's time here can be really great
When we learn to participate.
Falling rain
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 01-31-2008
Posts 2165
Small town, Illinois


3 posted 08-22-2009 11:18 AM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain

You want people to respond? Give and you will receive. No need for complaining about it. That's what The Alley's for

-Zach

"Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect" - Bob Marley

crosscountry83
Member
since 07-30-2009
Posts 335


4 posted 08-22-2009 10:49 PM       View Profile for crosscountry83   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for crosscountry83

Nice, Sir Balladeer.

He's right, I learned that shortly after joining Pip.

Rileigh

 
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