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Passions in Poetry

Destiny

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Elias Nevermore
Member
since 11-03-2007
Posts 153


0 posted 08-18-2009 03:23 AM       View Profile for Elias Nevermore   Email Elias Nevermore   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Elias Nevermore


A storm passes over my soul,
and I am left feeling incomplete.
For the one who makes me whole,
is somewhere else in this world.

Yet I have seen her so many times,
for she dominates my dreams.
I feel like I've known her for years,
although we have yet to meet.

In my saddest days when I long for her,
the only thing that comforts me
is the thought that my soul mate
is also long for us to be together.

As the years quickly pass me by,
and I remain in this anxious state.
I will continue to call out to the heavens
for someone to unite us in love.

"Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before;" -Edgar All

© Copyright 2009 Author Andrew E.L. - All Rights Reserved
Assassin_of_Verse
Member
since 10-23-2007
Posts 330
that So Cal


1 posted 08-21-2009 02:28 AM       View Profile for Assassin_of_Verse   Email Assassin_of_Verse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Assassin_of_Verse

Lol, good to see that one of us has been frequenting this place. XD

Um, anyway, first stanza was pretty simple. Kinda bland actually...I mean, when u write bout this topic, ur usually more passionate, yea? Second stanza felt better (at least, to me). Guess ur haunted by things yet to come.

Third stanza was kinda weird, 3rd-4th line:
"Is also long for us"? As for the last stanza, it seemed more like u I guess. Haha, I almost always end up sympathizing with u...

There is power in the pen.

Elias Nevermore
Member
since 11-03-2007
Posts 153


2 posted 08-21-2009 03:10 AM       View Profile for Elias Nevermore   Email Elias Nevermore   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elias Nevermore

i have to admit, I didnt read through this one a second time, cuz i had written it late at night and just decided to post it on the spot.

anyways, you should go check out the piece of prose i wrote a couple days ago.
Its in the prose section of the site, and its called "The lonely Child".

Thanx andrew for the analysis, cuz i get everything you said and you are pretty much spot on. lol
Assassin_of_Verse
Member
since 10-23-2007
Posts 330
that So Cal


3 posted 08-21-2009 03:37 AM       View Profile for Assassin_of_Verse   Email Assassin_of_Verse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Assassin_of_Verse

Lol, no problem. And thanks for the tip! I'll be sure to check it out. Though i don't know how meaningful a critique i'll be able to put up rite now...I gotta get off the computer quick!
Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member
since 03-23-2007
Posts 623
Space Camp, IN


4 posted 08-21-2009 05:25 PM       View Profile for Clockwork_Orange   Email Clockwork_Orange   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Clockwork_Orange's Home Page   View IP for Clockwork_Orange

A storm passes over my soul,
and I am left feeling incomplete.
For the one who makes me whole,
is somewhere else in this world.

great opening. it really sucked me in.
Elias Nevermore
Member
since 11-03-2007
Posts 153


5 posted 08-21-2009 05:49 PM       View Profile for Elias Nevermore   Email Elias Nevermore   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elias Nevermore

thanx andrew and clockwork for your great feedback.
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