How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Main Forums
 Teen Poetry #9
 Always there.
 1 2 3
Follow us on Facebook

 Moderated by: Acies, Dopey Dope, SEA   (Admins )

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

Always there.

 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
Astrophial
New Member
since 08-10-2009
Posts 6


0 posted 08-10-2009 12:36 AM       View Profile for Astrophial   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Astrophial

Its always been there.

Tugging.
Pulling.
Prodding.

It has my attention now.
I hoped this wouldn't happen.
I hoped I could trust you.
I hoped we wouldn't fall apart.

My hoping my futile.
Its all gone now.
You say those words.
There's no reason for me anymore.

This probably makes no sense, but that's alright. Comments welcome, don't be afraid to be harsh.

© Copyright 2009 Astrophial - All Rights Reserved
crosscountry83
Member
since 07-30-2009
Posts 335


1 posted 08-10-2009 03:30 PM       View Profile for crosscountry83   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for crosscountry83

You have a good way with words, I disagree though, I think it makes sense.  What you've described is an experience in life that, regrettably, you have to experience at one time or another.  Keep up the writing

Rileigh
Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member
since 03-23-2007
Posts 623
Space Camp, IN


2 posted 08-10-2009 10:33 PM       View Profile for Clockwork_Orange   Email Clockwork_Orange   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Clockwork_Orange's Home Page   View IP for Clockwork_Orange

short and sweet. very nice
crosscountry83
Member
since 07-30-2009
Posts 335


3 posted 08-10-2009 10:49 PM       View Profile for crosscountry83   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for crosscountry83

Maybe it's just me, but I disagree with both statments you said.  I don't think it's especially short, I've seen shorter, and the tone I got from it wasn't "sweet."  I think the length and the tone were both excellent, but not "short and sweet."  I agree with the "very nice" part though.  
 
 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Main Forums >> Teen Poetry #9 >> Always there. Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors