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 Teen Poetry #9
 theres another on the way.
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Passions in Poetry

theres another on the way.

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Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member
since 03-23-2007
Posts 623
Space Camp, IN


0 posted 07-29-2009 04:36 PM       View Profile for Clockwork_Orange   Email Clockwork_Orange   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Clockwork_Orange's Home Page   View IP for Clockwork_Orange

taken from the world
before you ever knew its beauty
blue eyes just like mine
makes the pain go right through me

a smile and a hand to hold
never found your heart
the world was gone to fast
it all just fell apart

i dont know what else to do
so i sit here with my pen
and write theses last words for you
even though they dont make sense

i bled my pain into words
now only time will tell
if the scars can mend the cuts
and if i escape hell

lift the heavens high tonight
there's another on the way
close your eyes one last time
as they open up the gates

~ you cant run from yourself ~

© Copyright 2009 Bryan Lucas - All Rights Reserved
crosscountry83
Member
since 07-30-2009
Posts 335


1 posted 07-31-2009 12:07 AM       View Profile for crosscountry83   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for crosscountry83

This poem is exemplary!  It's very sad, but I think the reson no one has commented on it is because it's too good.  You are pretty good at having meter... Spectacular job!
RevengeIsMine
Senior Member
since 07-08-2006
Posts 832
Australia


2 posted 07-31-2009 05:54 AM       View Profile for RevengeIsMine   Email RevengeIsMine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RevengeIsMine

OMFG... Sorry but u just took my socks and half my darn toes. this is.. more than good... more than great.. i'd say i was lost for words but i'm typing so yeah.. It's beyond the normal esquiteness of you..

WOW!!!
Falling rain
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 01-31-2008
Posts 2165
Small town, Illinois


3 posted 07-31-2009 09:24 AM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain

I'm with Jess on this!! Dude, seriously, this was beyond good. One of your best for sure. Just wow. .I still can't get over what you wrote! Its just.. wow.. Okay I'm gonna stop talking. lol.

-Zach
Leanne <3
Member
since 08-25-2007
Posts 217
N.S.W, Australia


4 posted 08-06-2009 01:23 AM       View Profile for Leanne <3   Email Leanne <3   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Leanne <3

wow, i am speechless
incredible use of words and emotion!

-Lee

precious pearls
Member
since 07-24-2009
Posts 110
NJ; United States


5 posted 08-19-2009 04:12 PM       View Profile for precious pearls   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for precious pearls

"i bled my pain into words
now only time will tell
if the scars can mend the cuts
and if i escape hell"

TEARS WERE RUNNING DOWN MY FACE BY THE TIME I GOT TO THIS PART!!! Words cannot express the words I mean... just WOW, and wow doesn't even cover it man. I don't know how you get your poetry to be so deep... Definetely your best so far!

Truly Speechless,
        Kai
Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member
since 03-23-2007
Posts 623
Space Camp, IN


6 posted 08-20-2009 07:44 AM       View Profile for Clockwork_Orange   Email Clockwork_Orange   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Clockwork_Orange's Home Page   View IP for Clockwork_Orange

thanks for all the feedback guys. i really like to see you all enjoyed it. really. thanks.
 
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