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Passions in Poetry

Wired To The Moon

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Octave
Member
since 07-29-2008
Posts 188
Highlands, Scotland.


0 posted 07-24-2009 12:18 PM       View Profile for Octave   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Octave

It's been a while. Enjoy.

Wired To The Moon

Fingers kiss the splintered rungs
And with the finest strings Im strung
To the peace and to the tune
Im wired to the moon

Spattered stars crunch underfoot
Studded to the shyest soot
Sky fumbles with the pale shape
Of silvered sphere that begs to drape

Its silken pattern of noiseless grace
Across the milky, molten face
Of a blanket of dizzy rings
That wind around the shattered wings

That blind the meekest faintest star
Smiling from the blackest tar
Which shroud the silence and spinning spheres
Soaking up the mirrors tears

Eyes reflect the harrowed face
Of a man who sits and dares not race
As threads of gold do trail down
And fix themselves to papered crown

Sparks wind down and through my blood
As hoary light begins to flood
Down onto me and onto land
As fragmented glass dares hold my hand

Fingers kiss the splintered rungs
And with the finest strings Im strung
All too late and all too soon
Im wired to the moon.
© Copyright 2009 Octave - All Rights Reserved
freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 09-12-2008
Posts 703
CA, USA


1 posted 07-24-2009 08:16 PM       View Profile for freeand2sexy   Email freeand2sexy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit freeand2sexy's Home Page   View IP for freeand2sexy

This is Awesome!

The hardest part about writing poetry,
is trying not to write like everyone else.

Octave
Member
since 07-29-2008
Posts 188
Highlands, Scotland.


2 posted 07-31-2009 06:13 PM       View Profile for Octave   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Octave

Thank you very much. (:
Leanne <3
Member
since 08-25-2007
Posts 217
N.S.W, Australia


3 posted 08-06-2009 01:11 AM       View Profile for Leanne <3   Email Leanne <3   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Leanne <3

i always get so engrossed in your poems, the imagery you use is so captivating and beautiful.

great write

-Lee
Falling rain
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 01-31-2008
Posts 2165
Small town, Illinois


4 posted 08-07-2009 11:48 AM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain

Wow. Your writing ability surprises me every time I read your work. This was amazing! I wish I had half of your talent. Great job.

-Zach
UNTAMEDelegance
Member
since 05-30-2009
Posts 224
Oregon


5 posted 08-15-2009 01:41 AM       View Profile for UNTAMEDelegance   Email UNTAMEDelegance   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for UNTAMEDelegance

This is a wonderful poem! I found myself quickly falling into the quiksilver mysteries of the moon's grace; surrenduring to the beauty of the poem you've created. I loved it. It has rhythm, it has rhyme, and an enchanting elegance that rapidly draws you into its words. Awesome Job!=^.^=
                       ~UNTAMEDelegance
Assassin_of_Verse
Member
since 10-23-2007
Posts 330
that So Cal


6 posted 10-05-2009 09:21 PM       View Profile for Assassin_of_Verse   Email Assassin_of_Verse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Assassin_of_Verse

It must be lovely to be wired to such genius. Loved the imagery and the so-close-to-raw-I-can-smell-it feel. Thanks for it all.

There is power in the pen.

stargal
Senior Member
since 03-06-2006
Posts 1350
OR USA


7 posted 10-06-2009 12:15 AM       View Profile for stargal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for stargal

I thought this was a very interesting piece of writing. I'm not sure that I understand all of it, or that I'll ever be able too, but I loved the imagery.

I did find a couple spots that didn't ring true to the rest of the poem, or at least to my ear. Though, I'm just some random person who thinks they know something.   The parts I stumbled over while reading aloud was "Sky fumbles with the pale shape S2, L3, and Down onto me and onto land S6, L3. For some reason these two lines made my tongue stumble as if they were misplaced. The rhythm was lost in these two particular spots for me.

The title was unique and definitely caught my eye. I'm glad I took the time to read it, because it was well worth the time spent. You did an excellent job. It was a very enjoyable poem to read. I am looking forward to seeing more of your work!

Thanks for sharing.

Stargal
hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 06-18-2006
Posts 2539
Canada


8 posted 10-06-2009 02:30 PM       View Profile for hunnie_girl   Email hunnie_girl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for hunnie_girl

loved this your poems always have an enjoyable flow..
Krysti
Octave
Member
since 07-29-2008
Posts 188
Highlands, Scotland.


9 posted 11-04-2009 03:30 PM       View Profile for Octave   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Octave

Thank you so much everyone. It means a lot to me to hear all your lovely comments. (:
 
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