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 Look Me In The Eyes
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Passions in Poetry

Look Me In The Eyes

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Clockwork_Orange
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since 03-23-2007
Posts 623
Space Camp, IN


0 posted 07-07-2009 01:13 PM       View Profile for Clockwork_Orange   Email Clockwork_Orange   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Clockwork_Orange's Home Page   View IP for Clockwork_Orange


its harder to bite your words
than to spill them on the floor
with an appetite like this one
it just leaves you wanting more

so tell me what it means
when i cant eat, or sleep, or drink
your the only thing i see
in the deeper part of me

so look me in the eyes and say im lying
i would die for you if you couldnt tell
id break the sun and catch the sunlight
in a jar up on the shelf

is this the song that makes you tremble
when you hear my voice and listen on
with open ears and a better piece of mind
a lack of feeling all but gone

and now im drowning inside me
trying so hard to grasp for feeling
im struggling to stay afloat
please keep me breathing


~ you cant run from yourself ~

© Copyright 2009 Bryan Lucas - All Rights Reserved
Falling rain
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 01-31-2008
Posts 2165
Small town, Illinois


1 posted 07-14-2009 04:49 PM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain

Really love this one. You just keep gettin better and better.

something meaningful
Junior Member
since 07-17-2009
Posts 12
Wisconsin, USA


2 posted 07-24-2009 02:49 PM       View Profile for something meaningful   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for something meaningful

i like it alot. i really like the part about drowning in yourself. great job!


~amanda
precious pearls
Member
since 07-24-2009
Posts 110
NJ; United States


3 posted 07-24-2009 09:17 PM       View Profile for precious pearls   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for precious pearls

Loved it... it had true emotion in it... it kind of made me tear up a bit, lol
But seriously, EXCELLENT JOB!!!

Always,
   Kai (a.k.a. precious pearls)

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 03-21-2004
Posts 3212
The World of Poetry


4 posted 08-09-2009 10:55 PM       View Profile for *Alli4000*   Email *Alli4000*   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for *Alli4000*

I really like the symbolism and your descriptions of everything, particularly in the third stanza. Very nice.

~Alli~
Astrophial
New Member
since 08-10-2009
Posts 6


5 posted 08-10-2009 12:38 AM       View Profile for Astrophial   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Astrophial

I really like this, the way it flows, the way it describes, especially here:

"and now im drowning inside me
trying so hard to grasp for feeling
im struggling to stay afloat
please keep me breathing"

The only thing I didn't like was the capitalization problems, I don't know if that is just your style, but it interfered with my reading.

Other than that, it was amazing.
 
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