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Untitled

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Octave
Member
since 07-29-2008
Posts 188
Highlands, Scotland.


0 posted 07-01-2009 04:57 PM       View Profile for Octave   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Octave

A poem i had to write for English whilst wandering around the school. It's the first poem i've written in class since first year.
I hate free-verse and any crit is welcome.

Lying on my back
Face down to the sky,
Cradled in the arms of warm and musty soil
Blades of petty grass tickling my cheeks
Flushing beneath the shards of sunlight
Which pin me to the ground.
Sly and subtle grin
Creaks across my face
As the trivial chatter of
Friends and of others
Clatters in my head.
The clouds waltzing by with
Casual content.
Much like the meaningless ribbons of
Conversation winding through the air
Surrounded by a distant sense of
Security. Yearning for the belonging yet
Seeking a moment of clarity to be held
Captive in a silence.
Shadows from the disapproving frown
Of a stark and silent concrete block
Interrupted by the sun spewing a
Golden sliver of light through the blue
Neither here nor there.
I am lying in my silence
Face down to the sky.
© Copyright 2009 Octave - All Rights Reserved
priyanka
Member
since 06-15-2009
Posts 212
india


1 posted 07-03-2009 08:09 AM       View Profile for priyanka   Email priyanka   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for priyanka

this is just wow!!
but you say i have to be harsh so...
now this is really really bad!! how could you write something like that?
How dare you write one of the best poems i have ever read!! :P
 
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