My lump. <3
My lump you are mine.
My lump i want everything to be fine.
Cos when i look down at you.
I wonder what i really feel.
I wonder what you will look like?
I wonder what you will be like?
Cos when i think of how you were made?
I smile so sincerly.
But, you my lump, have changed so much.
Im not to sure what to think or feel?
Im not to sure this moments even real?
Cos am i ready for you?
Could i live for you?
I am young myself.
At the moment i am free.
At the moment my destiny is just about me?
But you, you will change this.
You are spose to change it.
Could i be the person you will need?
I dont even know how to do this?
I dont even know what to do next?
So when i think of you my lump?
What do i feel?
I feel happy, i feel sad.
I feel confused and glad.
Your father is amazing, i can see this.
i can imagine you only being like him.
& if you were, you would be a miracle.
No girl good enough and yet i wonder?
What makes me think i cant do it?
What makes me think i should not do it?
Could i get rid of you?
Could i never actually see you?
The tears stream down my face.
& yet i cannot picture a perfect place.
I cannot do this on my own, but i just wonder what it would be like for you to grow?
What do i do?
Please tell me.
My lump you can't help me.
i can't even help myself.
& yet i am rambling away in this poem.
The ending never becoming clear.
The decision never being easy.
& yes, my lump.
I look down at you, and i cant help to smile.
& i cant help to cry.
What do i do when the answer is far from ''Why?''
My lump, please know i love you so much already.
Please know i'd give my life many.
But to decide i dont know how?
I cant picture a more horrible place.
Because my lump you i am your mother.
& saying this does give me a shiver.