»
Main Forums
»
Teen Poetry #9
»
an unfinished life
| Teen Poetry #9 |
|
an unfinished life |
|
|
Leanne <3 Member
since 2007-08-25
Posts 216N.S.W, Australia 
|
I'm not really sure about the flow of this poem or anything but it's all i could manage while trying to keep up with my thoughts. im open to any suggestions. Three years they say Is all I’ve got. Three more years To complete my plot There go the dreams Of settling down Raising children In my own home town So many memories That don’t stand a chance Ripped from underneath me Decades in advance. I will bid farewell To my undiscovered love Whisper my vowels From the clouds up above And as for my family Who will grow old without me I beg them to let me go; And set themselves free Only three years they say And then I will be done my heart will cross the finish line Before my life's even begun. Inside this exterior, over which the eye might have roved there was the record of a pulsing life, which had learnt too well for its years – Thomas Har |
||
| © Copyright 2009 Leanne Jenkins - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
LittleWillow Member
since 2007-12-27
Posts 54 |
This is fantastic! Although the only trouble im having with it, is.. Im not to sure with where it is going? Or whats happening.. The rhyming is great though! Well done! xx |
||
moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
Little Willow, the speaker has a terminal heart disease and will die shortly. Very sad, very well written. Good work, loved the ending. |
||
|
wwzwlmd8 Member
since 2006-09-23
Posts 96San Diego,CA |
my heart will cross the finish line love this part ~Indya |
||
|
Leanne <3 Member
since 2007-08-25
Posts 216N.S.W, Australia |
thanks for the feedback guys, Lee |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
