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 Teen Poetry #9
 over and over again
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Passions in Poetry

over and over again(not a good title)

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lovelyswagg14
Junior Member
since 05-17-2009
Posts 12
Irvine,California


0 posted 06-04-2009 08:30 PM       View Profile for lovelyswagg14   Email lovelyswagg14   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit lovelyswagg14's Home Page   View IP for lovelyswagg14



My eyes filled with lust
As i stared within his,and made me tremble and fantasize
Beautiful and golden brown they were, filled my heart with butterflies
taking every bit of your mouths sweet elixir has drunken me but made me well
By the time i placed my sugary lips to yours i was already under your spell
As we lay on stage no lights no camera but action
we performed the most fabulous play
dancing in unison of self made music
in nothing but your sheets and my negligee
Your honey skin was pure silk stretched perfectly over a body well defined
Causing the most sensuous feeling as you and I poetically combined
Like light sparked to firework when we touched it was clear chemistry
like a smooth flowing rhythm
our kiss was pure poetry
I would never kiss and tell but the way you got me feeling is hard to explain
Its like my favorite movie that I want to be replayed over and over again
© Copyright 2009 ..kharlye.. - All Rights Reserved
kindredspirit
Member
since 05-19-2009
Posts 156


1 posted 06-20-2009 07:45 PM       View Profile for kindredspirit   Email kindredspirit   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for kindredspirit

"dancing in unison of self made music
in nothing but your sheets and my negligee"

a beautiful description of a sacred and timeless action.
freelancer
New Member
since 06-19-2009
Posts 2
OK, USA


2 posted 06-20-2009 08:01 PM       View Profile for freelancer   Email freelancer   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for freelancer

in the line 'I would never kiss and tell but the way you got me feeling is hard to explain' the words sound kind of funny. if you worded it like this:'I would never kiss and tell but the way you had me feeling is hard to explain', it would flow better. just change 'you got me feeling' to 'you had me feeling'. but all in all, it was a great poem.
Peanutbuttercookies'nmilk
Junior Member
since 05-03-2009
Posts 31
Terrell,Texas


3 posted 06-20-2009 08:31 PM       View Profile for Peanutbuttercookies'nmilk   Email Peanutbuttercookies'nmilk   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Peanutbuttercookies'nmilk

Amazing write.I look forward 2 reading more .
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