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Passions in Poetry

ALS

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nehematala
Member
since 05-21-2009
Posts 129


0 posted 05-29-2009 02:38 PM       View Profile for nehematala   Email nehematala   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for nehematala

This poem is about my mom. She had Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis or Lou Gehrig's disease. She lived three and a half years with it, two and a half after being diagnosed with it

It's like a vampire
That feeds on your muscles
That sucks the life out of you
Watching it happen
Watching you die
Knowing I can do nothing
But watch
The thought of you being gone
Cuts deep
But I have to stay strong
Not let my weakness show
But it hurts not knowing
If I will see you again
If you will still be here
When I wake


If you don't like something,
Change it...
If you can't change it,
Change the way you think about it

[This message has been edited by nehematala (05-29-2009 05:59 PM).]

© Copyright 2009 Michelle Lynn Barclay - All Rights Reserved
stargal
Senior Member
since 03-06-2006
Posts 1350
OR USA


1 posted 05-29-2009 05:31 PM       View Profile for stargal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for stargal

Hi Nehematala,

I am so sorry for your loss. I know that phrase doesn't help much, but I hope you know someone cares. Lou Gehrig's disease is a horrible thing to watch happen to someone you love. I had a good friend who passed away many years ago from it. I cannot imagine how it is for you, losing your mother. I do know how it is to lose your friend though, and I think the pain is similar in that it is intense and deep. I have found poetry to be a great solace for all that ails in my life. I hope you find that same comfort I did.

I think the poem is good. A little rough around the edges, but it expresses your emotions well. You give the reader a glimpse into what it is like to wonder if someone, or something, they love can be lost in a matter of hours.

One thing that I felt was extraneous in the poem would be the dementor. I think you showed the image of life being sucked away by a vampire, and the dementor lessoned the impact of the first image. Just a thought, take it as you will

Thank you for sharing, it was indeed something I am glad I took the time to read.

Stargal-


nehematala
Member
since 05-21-2009
Posts 129


2 posted 05-29-2009 06:19 PM       View Profile for nehematala   Email nehematala   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nehematala

Thanks that does make it better. And thanks for sharing your story with me, even though its not exactly the same its good to know that I.m not alone but then again that means other people had to go through what my mom did so maybe i wish I was alone in it because no one should have to go through that

If you don't like something,
Change it...
If you can't change it,
Change the way you think about it

stargal
Senior Member
since 03-06-2006
Posts 1350
OR USA


3 posted 05-29-2009 08:39 PM       View Profile for stargal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for stargal

Yes, but imagine if your mom had to go through it all alone. I know that my friend found great comfort in a support group of people who were going through the same thing. I'm not saying I wish other people would get ALS, I just think there is a comfort when we know we are not completely alone. At times the greatest battle being fought throughout an illness is the loneliness, the isolation a person feels.

Anyway, just something I felt like throwing out there...

In answer to your question about smilies, just smile! (in other words, type : then ) right next to each other and it'll show up as a smile)

nehematala
Member
since 05-21-2009
Posts 129


4 posted 05-29-2009 09:27 PM       View Profile for nehematala   Email nehematala   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nehematala

Thats true i just wish no one had to go through it. It's hard fighting a disease you know you can overcome (I've been there personally) but to have to fight a disease in which you know you are not going to be able to survive anyway has to be really hard.

If you don't like something,
Change it...
If you can't change it,
Change the way you think about it

nehematala will be notified of replies
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