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 Rice
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Passions in Poetry

Rice

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nehematala
Member
since 05-21-2009
Posts 129


0 posted 05-29-2009 02:24 PM       View Profile for nehematala   Email nehematala   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for nehematala

Each grain of rice
Represents a life
That never had a chance

A chance;
At life
To be
A mother or father
A daughter or son
A chance;
To be good at something
To be a friend
A chance;
To be needed
To be loved
To love
A chance;
To see the world
To feel;
The warm sun
The cool grass
The softness of a blanket
The comfort of a hand

Each grain of rice
Represents a life

[This message has been edited by nehematala (05-31-2009 12:46 AM).]

© Copyright 2009 Michelle Lynn Barclay - All Rights Reserved
Assassin_of_Verse
Member
since 10-23-2007
Posts 330
that So Cal


1 posted 08-21-2009 03:10 AM       View Profile for Assassin_of_Verse   Email Assassin_of_Verse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Assassin_of_Verse

The title made me smile at first, but reading on, ur poem made me think a little (not too much, its rice after all...)

Haha, I wonder if i should stop eating so much rice. XD

But really, I loved ur examples. Though common (maybe even cliche), they work well and keep a constant rythym. That was something I enjoyed even more. The rythym was pretty smooth, kinda soothing.

I liked ur end as well. The repetition along with the subtle removal of a line really seemed to change the meaning overall. Left me with a positive feeling.

Thanks for ur interesting look on rice! XD

There is power in the pen.

freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 09-12-2008
Posts 703
CA, USA


2 posted 08-23-2009 12:43 AM       View Profile for freeand2sexy   Email freeand2sexy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit freeand2sexy's Home Page   View IP for freeand2sexy

I enjoyed reading this. It was real nice!

The hardest part about writing poetry,
is trying not to write like everyone else.

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