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 The Shadows of Life
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Passions in Poetry

The Shadows of Life

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nehematala
Member
since 05-21-2009
Posts 129


0 posted 05-24-2009 08:25 PM       View Profile for nehematala   Email nehematala   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for nehematala


The wind blowing
The sun shining
Suddenly
Cold like a grave yard
The shadows of life surround me
Not letting in a single ray of light
Blinding me, Crippling me
Pulling me in
Its grip tighter and tighter
Yarding me in every which way
From my unstable roots
Looking and laughing
At me with my suitable grounds
Telling me I can't
Yet somehow
I know there is a way to break free
If only I stay strong
I frantically yell for help
But no one hears
The shadows of life separate me

If you don't like something,
Change it...
If you can't change it,
Change the way you think about it

© Copyright 2009 Michelle Lynn Barclay - All Rights Reserved
kindredspirit
Member
since 05-19-2009
Posts 156


1 posted 06-20-2009 10:56 AM       View Profile for kindredspirit   Email kindredspirit   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for kindredspirit

i know the feeling.
Assassin_of_Verse
Member
since 10-23-2007
Posts 330
that So Cal


2 posted 08-21-2009 03:19 AM       View Profile for Assassin_of_Verse   Email Assassin_of_Verse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Assassin_of_Verse

LOL, i gotta say, kindred spirit, ur words were kinda ironic. "I know the feeling" AHAHA! Get it? cuz ur a "kindred" spirit? ahahha, cracks me up!

Ahem...Sorry bout that. Anyway, um...nehematala, i liked how the beginning started of kinda neutral: "The wind blowing
The sun shining" Gives both a sense of isolation, yet warmth at the same time. But "suddenly", the shadows seem to eclipse that very warmth, leaving just he cold. Those shadows even leave you small, vulnerable to the "yarding" (sounds like ur swept away by an intangible garden rake). Also, the speaker realizes that there's a way out, yet he (or she) remains trapped.

At first, just cuz of the line "Cold like a graveyard", I imagined some poor soul getting dragged down by shadows in some cemetery. But thinking it over, it doesnt have to be literal. Doubt, worry, sorrow, even hate, are all effective at trapping a person. Often, there's a way out, but it can be difficult to do so, especially on one's lonesome.

Hmm, good job! Poems that make me think differently or make me analyze a bit are pretty fun to read. Thanks!

There is power in the pen.

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member
since 03-23-2007
Posts 623
Space Camp, IN


3 posted 08-21-2009 05:26 PM       View Profile for Clockwork_Orange   Email Clockwork_Orange   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Clockwork_Orange's Home Page   View IP for Clockwork_Orange

very nice. the title fits well id say. i liked it alot.
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