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 Teen Poetry #9
 dance floor dreams or nightmares
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Passions in Poetry

dance floor dreams or nightmares

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Rosie_Orange
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since 04-20-2009
Posts 46
South Africa


0 posted 05-18-2009 03:59 PM       View Profile for Rosie_Orange   Email Rosie_Orange   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Rosie_Orange

a smoky corner,
away from strobe lights
and loud music,
sits a lonely figure,
came to experience teenhood.
if only she had one friend,
to laugh, talk, drink with.
instead, too scared to dance alone,
a single tear falls,
and is brushed away before make up is smudged.
if only one person came to talk to her.

Love, Peace, Chocolate *mmmmmm*

© Copyright 2009 Rosa Elk - All Rights Reserved
JenniferMaxwell
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since 09-14-2006
Posts 2275


1 posted 05-18-2009 04:04 PM       View Profile for JenniferMaxwell   Email JenniferMaxwell   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JenniferMaxwell

This is a very moving poem that expresses so well the feelings of isolation and loneliness many of us feel from time to time. Heart touching images in a well penned poem!
Falling rain
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since 01-31-2008
Posts 2165
Small town, Illinois


2 posted 05-18-2009 11:01 PM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain

*point's at Jennifer* What she said. :P Lol

This was really good emotions. Maybe more imagery? But over all really good.

-Zach  

I love my crayons. :D lol

nehematala
Member
since 05-21-2009
Posts 129


3 posted 06-20-2009 07:14 PM       View Profile for nehematala   Email nehematala   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nehematala

This is a good poem but as Zach said I think it needs more imagery

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either.

 
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