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Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

0 posted 2009-05-15 06:57 PM

I read HersheyKiss's poem and it inspired me to write this.

Just An Ugly Face

Tell me something different
Like beauty doesn't count
That average is okay
And I have something to amount

You tell me I'm beautiful
Always inside and out
Why don't you stare at my eyes?
Your filling me with doubt

Do I not have "the body"?
Gain some muscles; become a stud
Knock down some IQ numbers
And speak like a dud

I read big books and wear glasses
Speak like I have a brain
But these standards you place on me
Are filling my heart with pain

Tell me I'm more then beautiful
Be honest and be true
Do I just not add up now?
Is it impossible for me to be you?

Tell me I'm something different
That average people have a place
In the end do you recognize me for me?
Or just some ugly face.

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

1 posted 2009-05-15 11:19 PM

Awe. I really like the last stanza.
library

{~~*~~}

Lacrimosa Dies Illa
[Oh that tearful day]
{~~*~~}

Kalysta
Junior Member

since 2009-04-02

Posts 41
Ohio

2 posted 2009-05-16 01:32 PM

OMG! I totally loved this. Totally going in the library!! Really good, no great write. =-D
~Kalysta~

~Kalysta~

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

3 posted 2009-05-16 01:52 PM

Zach,

You are really growing as a poet. This is very good. When I think of the structure of your earlier poems and look at this one - I am so proud of you. Zach, you have a lot to offer all of us. It doesn't matter if we are not teens. Your messages are strong.

Keep up the writing and know I am reading.

Alison

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

4 posted 2009-05-16 01:53 PM

PS - I like your picture.

Peanutbuttercookies'nmilk
Junior Member

since 2009-05-03

Posts 31
Terrell,Texas

5 posted 2009-05-16 08:19 PM

I absolutely LOVE this poem,

"I read big books and wear glasses
Speak like I have a brain
But these standards you place on me
Are filling my heart with pain

Tell me I'm more then beautiful
Be honest and be true
Do I just not add up now?
Is it impossible for me to be you?

Tell me I'm something different
That average people have a place
In the end do you recognize me for me?
Or just some ugly face."is my favorite part.

We are all unique in Jesus' eyes.

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

6 posted 2009-05-21 07:53 AM

Thanks guys for your replies!

-Zach

I love my crayons. :D lol

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

7 posted 2009-05-21 12:00 PM

yep

this is for sure, one of your better poems!

Rosie_Orange
Junior Member

since 2009-04-20

Posts 46
South Africa

8 posted 2009-05-21 12:53 PM

its amazing! i really loved it, and you made rhyme work with you not against you!! wow..

nehematala
Member

since 2009-05-21

Posts 129

9 posted 2009-05-21 03:44 PM

oh my gosh this poem describes how I felt going to public schools.

If you don't like something,
Change it...
If you can't change it,
Change the way you think about it

UNTAMEDelegance
Member

since 2009-05-30

Posts 222
Oregon

10 posted 2009-06-01 09:50 PM

I loved this a lot!!! It really hits home at society's obsessive enchantment of looking good and not caring what's in the soul of a person. I really think that quite a few people will be able to emphasize with this poem. It was very, very good to read.
~UNTAMEDelegance

kindredspirit
Member

since 2009-05-19

Posts 156

11 posted 2009-06-08 04:22 PM

your rhythm was a little off, but overall this was a good write. the message definitely spoke to me, loud and clear.

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