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 Teen Poetry #9
 Trying Harder
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Passions in Poetry

Trying Harder

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Peanutbuttercookies'nmilk
Junior Member
since 05-03-2009
Posts 31
Terrell,Texas


0 posted 05-13-2009 08:49 PM       View Profile for Peanutbuttercookies'nmilk   Email Peanutbuttercookies'nmilk   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Peanutbuttercookies'nmilk

Sometimes it seems,
The harder we try.
The harder it is,
To try and get by.

But just when you think,
You can't try anymore;
When you went to give up,
And crawl on the floor.

Stop for a second,
And look deep inside.
You'll find a spark,
A spark we call PRIDE.

Then try again,
With all your might-
Reach for your goal;
And keep it in sight.


Never give up-
Never give in;
If you try real hard,
I promise you'll win.

Please don't be afraid to criticize I have to learn one way or another.-SACHA

© Copyright 2009 Sacha Aurora Henderson - All Rights Reserved
Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 01-27-2008
Posts 9055
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


1 posted 05-13-2009 11:50 PM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Sacha,

I really like the rhythm of this poem.  You seem to have an ability that I struggle with in attaining that beat.  I also like the message - I think you pull it off without sounding trite.

I say good job.  I am glad you are here and sharing with us.

If you want critique, you should probably go into your profile and mark "yes" where it asks if you want your poetry critiqued.  If you need help, let a teen moderator know or you can email me.

Alison
XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member
since 01-20-2008
Posts 887
Neverland


2 posted 05-14-2009 11:18 PM       View Profile for XxForever.BrokenxX   Email XxForever.BrokenxX   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for XxForever.BrokenxX

Great write, I really like this.

P.S.  Welcome the PIP.

{~~*~~}


Lacrimosa Dies Illa
[Oh that tearful day]
    {~~*~~}
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