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 Senselessly Numb
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Passions in Poetry

Senselessly Numb

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Octave
Member
since 07-29-2008
Posts 188
Highlands, Scotland.


0 posted 05-07-2009 03:31 PM       View Profile for Octave   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Octave

It's doesn't rhyme! Agh! Just thought i'd try something different. Crit very much welcome as i would love to know how to improve on the art of non-rhyme.

Senselessly Numb

Is there anybody in there?
These eyes staring into me
Peering at the glassy space
That seems to occupy my face

A creaking grin coats my cheeks
But my veins run with nothingness
I barely feel the pin prick
Of words pointed at me

Inside a bubble of silence
Silence that provides the numb
Sense of existence that seems to
Inhabit this body Iím inside

Face is pressed to the ground
Unaware of the crowd that
Circles in a sphere of noise that
Can never quite reach my ears

My skin is a cold and distant
Armour that protects my creaking
Smile. Its ok, weíre all here
The faces that beg to mean
Something?

Stare at my hands in a hope
They will touch an anchor
As Iím drifting, floating,
Breathing in this gravity

Is there anybody in there?
There is no question
Itís just me, my smile
And my senseless numb.
© Copyright 2009 Octave - All Rights Reserved
KatVern17
Junior Member
since 05-07-2009
Posts 34


1 posted 05-08-2009 01:21 PM       View Profile for KatVern17   Email KatVern17   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for KatVern17

Space and Face rhyme.

It's really a good poem. I had liked reading it.

Peanutbuttercookies'nmilk
Junior Member
since 05-03-2009
Posts 31
Terrell,Texas


2 posted 05-08-2009 11:26 PM       View Profile for Peanutbuttercookies'nmilk   Email Peanutbuttercookies'nmilk   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Peanutbuttercookies'nmilk

"Be harsh I've learn some way",you say are you crazy that was the most amazing poem I've read,know why BECAUSE IT MADE SENSE to me at least write more,write more,write more OR ELSE.
                  -LOVE YOU

Octave
Member
since 07-29-2008
Posts 188
Highlands, Scotland.


3 posted 05-09-2009 12:44 PM       View Profile for Octave   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Octave

Haha, face and space were unintentional.

Thanks for the positive comments. (:
 
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