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Passions in Poetry

Betrayal

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meganne_77
Junior Member
since 04-15-2009
[First Post] 14
Oklahoma


0 posted 05-06-2009 09:53 PM       View Profile for meganne_77   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for meganne_77


the betrayal

piercing words
that stabbed Me
like swords.

tore My heart in two
tore My world down

Me, crying
not believing the words
I
am hearing, not believing
you would betray Me
the way you did

piercing words
that stabbed Me
like swords

tore Me in two

Burned My heart
My soul

you didnt care if I was hurting or not.

Me, crying
realizing the truth
You betrayed Me, killed My heart and hurt Me
so I am forever crying on the inside

I didn't believe you world hurt Me
but
you
did.

Barbie

© Copyright 2009 Meagan Danielle - All Rights Reserved
meganne_77
Junior Member
since 04-15-2009
Posts 14
Oklahoma


1 posted 05-06-2009 09:55 PM       View Profile for meganne_77   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for meganne_77

This is my first poem please comment..
moonbeam
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Member Elite
since 12-24-2005
Posts 2038


2 posted 05-07-2009 03:40 AM       View Profile for moonbeam   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for moonbeam

Hi meganne

This is obviously a very heartfelt poem.

Hopefully you will continue posting here.  The people are nice, and you might learn a lot too.

Lots of Welcomes to Passions in Poetry

M
freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 09-12-2008
Posts 703
CA, USA


3 posted 05-07-2009 11:31 AM       View Profile for freeand2sexy   Email freeand2sexy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit freeand2sexy's Home Page   View IP for freeand2sexy

Welcome to Pip!!!

Nice poem, I can really relate.

You laugh because I'm different...
I laugh cause I just farted!

moonbeam
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Member Elite
since 12-24-2005
Posts 2038


4 posted 05-09-2009 10:46 AM       View Profile for moonbeam   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for moonbeam

Welcome to Passions

It's great to see you posting here .   I look forward to reading more of your poetry and your responses.  Hopefully we can all learn and enjoy together.  (Please check your e-mail for a special greeting).

All the best.

Rob - Moderator/Passions in Poetry
Kalysta
Junior Member
since 04-02-2009
Posts 41
Ohio


5 posted 05-17-2009 10:13 PM       View Profile for Kalysta   Email Kalysta   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kalysta

Hey a good first write. Its nice to have you at PIP. Keep writing.
~Kalysta~

~Kalysta~

nehematala
Member
since 05-21-2009
Posts 129


6 posted 05-21-2009 04:08 PM       View Profile for nehematala   Email nehematala   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nehematala

i can't relate to this poem (yet) but its really good
Rosie_Orange
Junior Member
since 04-20-2009
Posts 46
South Africa


7 posted 05-22-2009 03:27 PM       View Profile for Rosie_Orange   Email Rosie_Orange   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Rosie_Orange

love the format! honest yet brutal... i like it
meganne_77
Junior Member
since 04-15-2009
Posts 14
Oklahoma


8 posted 06-20-2009 05:37 PM       View Profile for meganne_77   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for meganne_77

Thank you everybody for critiquing my poem. I had lost my internet but, I'm back! Thanks for the comments.

Barbie

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