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Passions in Poetry

Salty Oceans

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Rosie_Orange
Junior Member
since 04-20-2009
Posts 46
South Africa


0 posted 05-05-2009 10:33 AM       View Profile for Rosie_Orange   Email Rosie_Orange   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Rosie_Orange

A tear shed,
   for every moment of pain,
every word of hatred,
  every broken heart.
Snatched by strong emotions,
    pulled down a long face.
An ocean of salty, sweet tears
                                                collect at my feet.
© Copyright 2009 Rosa Elk - All Rights Reserved
Just.Another.Falling.Star
Member
since 05-08-2008
Posts 427
Canada


1 posted 05-05-2009 02:12 PM       View Profile for Just.Another.Falling.Star   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Just.Another.Falling.Star's Home Page   View IP for Just.Another.Falling.Star

i love this piece. there's just something about a short poem that sometimes has so much more meaning than a longer one.
i loved the description you used, and even just the positioning of where you put the words, everything worked really well.
great job, library for sure.

julianna

.:.:~]you clicked your heals and wished for me[~:.:.

SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 01-18-2000
Posts 24152
with you


2 posted 05-05-2009 06:06 PM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

lots of emotion in this, it really packs a punch! good...very good...and? just in case it's real...
Rosie_Orange
Junior Member
since 04-20-2009
Posts 46
South Africa


3 posted 05-06-2009 01:40 PM       View Profile for Rosie_Orange   Email Rosie_Orange   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Rosie_Orange

Thanks for the positive remarks and the 'air' hug!
moonbeam
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Member Elite
since 12-24-2005
Posts 2038


4 posted 05-09-2009 11:07 AM       View Profile for moonbeam   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for moonbeam

Hi Rosie

This has emotion yes, but I didn't think it was quite in the league of your other posts.  The images in it have been quite well used by poets over the ages, and as a result lack originality and power.

You can write much better than this and it would be good to see more .

I hope you take my comments positively because I mean them to help you improve.

All the best.
AgentP
New Member
since 05-30-2009
Posts 1


5 posted 06-07-2009 05:52 AM       View Profile for AgentP   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for AgentP

HEY! im new on the forum but wanted to say that I really like your piece keep doin what you're doing
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