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Passions in Poetry

A second

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Rosie_Orange
Junior Member
since 04-20-2009
[First Post] 46
South Africa


0 posted 04-22-2009 10:39 AM       View Profile for Rosie_Orange   Email Rosie_Orange   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Rosie_Orange

Standing on opposite ends of a room
                our eyes linked
for a second.
Turquoise blue, flecked with knowledge
He had seen the world.
       Banal, boring brown
Clearly I was no equal.
Lost in the crowd, a second long romance.

© Copyright 2009 Rosa Elk - All Rights Reserved
JenniferMaxwell
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Member Elite
since 09-14-2006
Posts 2275


1 posted 04-22-2009 11:36 AM       View Profile for JenniferMaxwell   Email JenniferMaxwell   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JenniferMaxwell

Welcome to Passions, Rosie!

Those across the room glances, sometimes real heartbreakers. Good poem, Rosie, you captured the moment perfectly. I think you're really going to love our teen forum. Everyone's very friendly and they all encourage each other in their writing. I look forward to reading more of your poetry and your responses to our wonderful family of poets! (Please check your e-mail for a special greeting)

Jennifer - Moderator/Passions in Poetry
moonbeam
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Member Elite
since 12-24-2005
Posts 2038


2 posted 04-22-2009 05:00 PM       View Profile for moonbeam   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for moonbeam

Hi Rosie

I see my colleague Jenn has welcomed you to PiP, I do too.  You'll find this a great place with friendly people, and if you want it, you can get some good feedback on your poetry too.

This was a very good first post.  I liked the formatting, and there were some original moments: "eyes linked", "flecked with knowledge" (marvellous).  Nice close too.

Hope to see more of your stuff in due course.

Best.

M
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


3 posted 04-22-2009 11:43 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Oh my, you've already found great company as evidenced by the above replies.

I too, enjoyed this--you took a moment that I think we've all suffered through, so nod, you have that universal connection going with this piece.

Welcome to Pip.

I'll be looking forward to tracking you--because um, I found a bit of intrigue at this first glance.

Definitely not to be discarded.

Enjoyed.
Rosie_Orange
Junior Member
since 04-20-2009
Posts 46
South Africa


4 posted 04-23-2009 01:25 PM       View Profile for Rosie_Orange   Email Rosie_Orange   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Rosie_Orange

Thanks so much!!
I'm really happy my first poem's gone down well... so far!!!

Love, Peace, Chocolate *mmmmmm*

KeyLimeSorbet
Member
since 03-05-2008
Posts 74
Colorado


5 posted 05-06-2009 04:11 PM       View Profile for KeyLimeSorbet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for KeyLimeSorbet

When i read your poem, i really feel like i'm there experiencing it. I really enjoy poetry that can do that!
Welcome to pip!
 
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