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 Teen Poetry #9
 I'm Cold
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Passions in Poetry

I'm Cold

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pen&paper
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since 06-06-2006
Posts 519


0 posted 04-21-2009 04:51 PM       View Profile for pen&paper   Email pen&paper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for pen&paper

Standing
Talking to You
I'm cold
You see this
Pull me close
I'm warm
Your heart beats
Mine sprints
Steady sound
Racing rythym
We let go
Standing
Talking to You
I'm cold

Hug me again?
© Copyright 2009 Cierra L. Robbeloth - All Rights Reserved
moonbeam
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since 12-24-2005
Posts 2038


1 posted 04-21-2009 05:22 PM       View Profile for moonbeam   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for moonbeam

I was awfully tempted to just put "good write"! lol  Then I saw your crit message.

What I liked about this was its charming simplicity.  You didn't try to embellish it with lots of fancy words or rhyme; just a happy and true little vignette of life and love.  Simply honest images.  Thanks

M
 
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