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Teen Poetry #9
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Octave
Member
since 2008-07-29
Posts 186
Highlands, Scotland.

0 posted 2009-04-13 05:55 PM


Urban Decay

Let’s burn down this city
Tear it hand in hand
We’ll draw something pretty
All over the land and

We’ll chew up the ashes
And choke on the lights
And when the world crashes
We’ll break up the fight

We’ll dance on the cracks
In the pavement and mind
And we’ll lie on our backs
And we’ll see what we find

And the city will weep
And we will just laugh
All motion shall sleep
On fury’s behalf

Who’s counting and crying
As we spin through decay
And we’ve given up trying
As city screams dismay

Hello urban breakdown
Come and see us smile
Just take a look around
At our uninspired style

Paint runs through the drains
And we sing in broken streets
And the city cries disdain
As this is where we meet

Let’s burn down this city
Let’s burn it down for good
And we’ll say what a pity
Because no one understood.

© Copyright 2009 Octave - All Rights Reserved
moonbeam
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since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356

1 posted 2009-04-16 04:50 PM


Hi Octave

Pretty catchy meter, and a good strong message too.  In my head when I read this my mind is dying to put it to music - would make great lyrics.  I can just see Dire Straits doing it; but then I bet you don't remember them .

M

Octave
Member
since 2008-07-29
Posts 186
Highlands, Scotland.
2 posted 2009-04-17 12:38 PM


Yes, it does seem quite singysongy. I play guitar and have recently started putting some of my poetry to music, i might try it with this.

Believe it or not, i listen to the Dire Straits. Haha, the old music isn't completely lost you know.

moonbeam
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since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356

3 posted 2009-04-17 05:18 PM


Thank god for that   Just been listening to Your Latest Trick - I love that track, and Mark Knopfler is the greatest guitarist ever.
punkrockerrobin
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Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
4 posted 2009-04-19 05:45 AM


I LOVE HOW YOU RHYME. ITS AWESOME HOW YOU CAN GET IT TO FLOW SO WELL. WONDERFUL WORK!

I'm lost and going nowhere i need help to find my way

Rosie_Orange
Junior Member
since 2009-04-20
Posts 46
South Africa
5 posted 2009-04-23 03:44 PM


you're such an amazing poet... i really like this poem, the way your rhyming doesn't make it sound babyish but rather assists in making the poem better..
and i agree, i think it would make an amazing song!! (:

RevengeIsMine
Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820
Australia
6 posted 2009-04-23 07:56 PM


THIS FREAKING ROCKS!!!

xx

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