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Teen Poetry #9
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Just.Another.Falling.Star
Member
since 2008-05-08
Posts 422
Canada

0 posted 2009-04-10 05:34 PM


Based on the song "Open Happiness" by tons of different artists that made the "Coca-Cola" commercial, lol...this is an attempt, and only that, lol. Nothing good really came from it.


__________________________________________________________

Mmmmmm...
and with a simple sound,
we stretch our arms and reach.
Reach for the stars.

The harder you look,
your eyes focus and its clear.
Clear that the stars are close,
so close you can feel their heat.

The warmth spreads
through your limbs and around
your body.
A heavenly feeling.

Nothing else matters,
you have this sense of open-ness,
a feeling of open happiness.
The stars start to dance.

Dancing down the street,
smiles on everyone's faces.
The sunshine sings its song,
and the clouds rain with joy.

It's a brand new day,
time for some more open happiness.
Another smile on someone's face,
another rainbow bridge.

Thank you stars for making
the world happy together.
This is a better way of living,
this is open happiness.

julianna

.:.:~]you clicked your heals and wished for me[~:.:.

© Copyright 2009 Julianna - All Rights Reserved
Suncleaver
Member
since 2009-01-18
Posts 481
Stafford England
1 posted 2009-04-12 12:15 PM


I quite liked it Julianna.
Just.Another.Falling.Star
Member
since 2008-05-08
Posts 422
Canada
2 posted 2009-04-12 02:29 PM


thanks luke.

julianna

.:.:~]you clicked your heals and wished for me[~:.:.

RevengeIsMine
Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820
Australia
3 posted 2009-04-12 11:16 PM


mmm... Some parts i liked.. some i didn't... i think the whole thing is def not your best... but still a good write..

x

Just.Another.Falling.Star
Member
since 2008-05-08
Posts 422
Canada
4 posted 2009-04-12 11:32 PM


yeah, i know. i wrote this because i was really hyper. and listening to this song made me inspired. everytime i read it over, i keep finding more and more places where it could've been better, lol...
thanks for the "critique"!

julianna

.:.:~]you clicked your heals and wished for me[~:.:.

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