Let's take a look at the detail of this.
Your words are painting my skies
>>>Great opening line. One of the best I've seen from you. Strong images, good metaphor, original writing. Bang! straight into the poem.
Staining raindrops with worthless lies
>>>Building on the sky image and metaphor - nice. "Worthless lies" is a bit overused, even cliche. Do you really need "worthless"? Just "lies" would tighten it a lot.
Every hope dipped in ravens ink
>>>"Ravens ink" - maybe you need an apostrophe "Raven's" - the ink of the raven? But, wow, what a wonderful image.
Making me drown as I sink
>>>This is the weakest line so far. Your speaker is in water all of a sudden, and there's not much new about drowning in sorrows or sinking.
Gravity pulling me down, grabbing air
Stars leap across the sky as I stare
Jumping, dancing on fiery trails
Sparkling, Crackling as it wails.
>>>You're back to the sky metaphor again with some really lively language. Lots of nice energetic verbs - exciting writing.
Stepping lightly along the milky way
Living within my own fairytale far away
Trapped in visions in my head
As I lie asleep on my bed
Drifting past this starry night
Clock's paused at midnight
Daylight creeping on the edge
As I hang off dreams ledge
>>>I liked the way you move out into space and the final line was also original and evocative.
Thanks for this Zach.