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 Teen Poetry #9
 a perfect world
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Passions in Poetry

a perfect world

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illuminated truth
Junior Member
since 02-16-2009
Posts 21


0 posted 04-01-2009 03:50 PM       View Profile for illuminated truth   Email illuminated truth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit illuminated truth's Home Page   View IP for illuminated truth


to save mankind
make us blind
make us whole
from Nairobi to Seoul

erase our hearts
let's begin at the start
remove all the hate
let kindness be our only trait

build bridges & tear down walls
because without love, we are nothing at all
no more emphasis on skin
our souls are just renting the bodies we're in

there is no difference among us
lets be naive again like the young us
in reality we all have the same fears
we all cry the same tears

teach us how to give back
help us unlearn how to attack
restore our devotion
make us void of malice emotions

distort our perception, of rich & poor
beliefs that materialism is all to live for
none of us are perfect, none without flaw
but when I looked to the future, this is the world I saw
© Copyright 2009 illuminated truth - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
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Member Seraphic
since 01-18-2000
Posts 24152
with you


1 posted 04-01-2009 04:02 PM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

that sure would be nice
Octave
Member
since 07-29-2008
Posts 188
Highlands, Scotland.


2 posted 04-03-2009 05:36 AM       View Profile for Octave   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Octave

"our souls are just renting the bodies we're in"

Really liked this line for some reason.

Good poem, great ideas and great imagery. The rythm was off in a coupld of places. Try taking some words out here and there.
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