How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Main Forums
 Teen Poetry #9
 I know!
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
Follow us on Facebook

 Moderated by: Acies, Dopey Dope, SEA   (Admins )

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

I know!

 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 09-12-2008
Posts 703
CA, USA


0 posted 03-30-2009 02:23 PM       View Profile for freeand2sexy   Email freeand2sexy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit freeand2sexy's Home Page   View IP for freeand2sexy

I'm really bad at free verse, but I just don't feel like rhyming or using meter.


Smiles awake the room,
As you walk in
And glance at me,
With your transparent eyes,

And as others
See love and warmth,
I still wonder,
As to what it really means.

You claim to love me,
But as your hand
Squeezes your cane,
I lose my breath.

As you look away,
I lose control
Of my limbs.
You hold me down.

And when you whisper,
I hear the screams.
My thoughts intertwine
With yours,

And I know
The meaning of your words.
I know what you yell,
What keeps your eyes on me.

Yeah, I know.
I've always known,
But I found comfort
In denial.

To deny that I hear you say,
ďI want you to dieĒ
But the truth is,
Iím already dead.


"I can't see my forehead!" -Patrick

[This message has been edited by freeand2sexy (03-30-2009 03:29 PM).]

© Copyright 2009 Christine Juarez - All Rights Reserved
Falling rain
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 01-31-2008
Posts 2165
Small town, Illinois


1 posted 03-30-2009 05:02 PM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain

Hmmm.. this poem is just... I don't know... its just different I guess you could say. It wasn't my favorite of yours. =/

-Zach

When I see your smile, and I know itís not for me, thatís when Iíll miss you.

freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 09-12-2008
Posts 703
CA, USA


2 posted 03-30-2009 05:18 PM       View Profile for freeand2sexy   Email freeand2sexy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit freeand2sexy's Home Page   View IP for freeand2sexy

Free verse is just not for me, I guess, or maybe i need to learn more about it and practice.

"I can't see my forehead!" -Patrick
Falling rain
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 01-31-2008
Posts 2165
Small town, Illinois


3 posted 03-30-2009 07:47 PM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain

I don't know if there's much to know about free verse. Its pretty much self-explanatory. I think practice makes perfect.

When I see your smile, and I know itís not for me, thatís when Iíll miss you.

freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 09-12-2008
Posts 703
CA, USA


4 posted 03-30-2009 07:56 PM       View Profile for freeand2sexy   Email freeand2sexy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit freeand2sexy's Home Page   View IP for freeand2sexy

Oh there's a lot to know about free verse, well at least in my opinion.

Anyways I posted one in open, called Love's Twin, I think it's a lil better than this one, but only a lil.

"I can't see my forehead!" -Patrick
KebiraAmani
New Member
since 04-02-2009
Posts 5
Canada


5 posted 04-02-2009 10:02 PM       View Profile for KebiraAmani   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for KebiraAmani

I like the rawness of it. The pure feeling. No extras.
I like it (:
freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 09-12-2008
Posts 703
CA, USA


6 posted 04-02-2009 10:29 PM       View Profile for freeand2sexy   Email freeand2sexy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit freeand2sexy's Home Page   View IP for freeand2sexy

Thank you!

"I can't see my forehead!" -Patrick

Kalysta
Junior Member
since 04-02-2009
Posts 41
Ohio


7 posted 04-08-2009 05:26 PM       View Profile for Kalysta   Email Kalysta   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kalysta

I thought this one was really good thought it seemed a little forced. But it was still good. I liked it alot. It was different. Not like all the ones you see posted every day. This one stands out more than usual for some reason. I dont know why but it does. Good wright.

   ~Kalysta~

~Kalysta~

freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 09-12-2008
Posts 703
CA, USA


8 posted 04-08-2009 08:59 PM       View Profile for freeand2sexy   Email freeand2sexy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit freeand2sexy's Home Page   View IP for freeand2sexy

Thank you, it's not my best, but it's different than what I usually write. I just wish I was better at free verse.

"I can't see my forehead!" -Patrick

freeand2sexy will be notified of replies
 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Main Forums >> Teen Poetry #9 >> I know! Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors