How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Main Forums
 Teen Poetry #9
 Feeling Raw
 1 2 3 4
Follow us on Facebook

 Moderated by: Acies, Dopey Dope, SEA   (Admins )

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

Feeling Raw

 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
Octave
Member
since 07-29-2008
Posts 188
Highlands, Scotland.


0 posted 03-22-2009 09:28 AM       View Profile for Octave   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Octave

Feeling Raw

Put down your armour
Lay down your gun
Cease the lingering smoke
This time we’re done

Still your body now
Clean away your tears
Wipe the blood from skin
And welcome home your fears

Goodbye to green
Brown, red and grey
Goodbye to pain
We’ll make this the day

We’ll rid of the evil
We’ll lay down our pride
For the sake of our life
For those who have died

Nightmares will follow
And tread in your wake
Of the death and destruction
That the world had to take

Eyes are filled with space
You’ll never be the same
Your face will no longer
Match up to your name

The devastation is a shadow
Of the war that echoed here
That is imprinted inside us
And will always stay near

So put down your armour
Lay down your gun
You’ve done all you can but
You still haven’t won.

[This message has been edited by Octave (03-24-2009 12:31 PM).]

© Copyright 2009 Octave - All Rights Reserved
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 10-29-2000
Posts 19275
Between the Lines


1 posted 03-22-2009 05:11 PM       View Profile for nakdthoughts   Email nakdthoughts   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nakdthoughts

"Your face will no longer
Match up to your name"

Enjoyed the whole poem especially the lines above. And it did have a raw feeling to it

M
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 01-18-2000
Posts 24152
with you


2 posted 03-22-2009 06:53 PM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

"The devastation is a shadow
Of the war that echoed here
That is imprinted inside us
And will always stay near"

liked this part a lot
Dark Star
Member
since 02-20-2008
Posts 394
Lost in your eyes


3 posted 03-22-2009 07:51 PM       View Profile for Dark Star   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Star

emotions are a great tool to write with
freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 09-12-2008
Posts 703
CA, USA


4 posted 03-23-2009 06:26 PM       View Profile for freeand2sexy   Email freeand2sexy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit freeand2sexy's Home Page   View IP for freeand2sexy

Wow, this is amazing, I like how you ended it.

Jesus loves you! Don't believe it? Then at least believe that I love you! I may not know you, but you're a person too, and you deserve to be loved.

 
 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Main Forums >> Teen Poetry #9 >> Feeling Raw Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors